Friday, January 17, 2014

where's our $250...

My apologies for being a shitty blogger lately. It's been a doozy of a new year, but things are looking up! ANYWAY, get a load of this:

The other night, my boyfriend (oh yes. I know.) and I were walking down the street to get burritos before we watched "90 Day Fiance" which is the greatest show I've ever seen, and noticed an animal trap placed at someone's front door, with a sign saying basically, "This is a humane animal trap. My cat is missing. I have cameras fixed on this spot. Don't touch!" All along the street were huge pink posters proclaiming a $250 reward for the missing cat.

We noted the signage, we noted the trap, we got burritos.

On our way home, a man was sitting on the ground futzing with the trap. Because he cannot NOT get involved, my boyfriend started chatting with the man.

"Did you lose your cat?"

"Yes." He said, exasperated, and went on to explain the trap, the extensive cameras he'd installed, and how he hired a woman with a team of bloodhounds specially trained to find missing cats. As he went on and on about his lost cat, we heard very loud meowing coming from about 10 feet away. So when the man finally paused in his missing cat story, my boyfriend said, "Um, do you hear that?"

I chimed in. "There's a cat over there meowing."

"Is that your cat?"

The man didn't bat a lash. "I don't know."

Just to recap; signs, rewards, cameras, humane traps, AND he'd sprinkled baking flour all over the sidewalk in a Scooby Doo-esque attempt to obtain cat print clues.

My boyfriend says, "There's a cat, right over there..." And walks towards a car, under which THE CAT FROM THE POSTER is frantically meowing. So the man, with mild annoyance, gets up off his sidewalk cat trap area and looks under the car. "OH MY GOD!"

He swoops down, picks up the cat, and starts to wordlessly walk inside. No shock, no thrill, no smile. Delightedly proving himself right that other people's problems are really easy to solve, my boyfriend says, "Wow. I totally just found your cat!"

"Yep." The man says, wrangling the cat in his arms and running inside. "Uh huh."

I grabbed my boyfriend and implied he wouldn't be getting the effusive gratitude he was obviously waiting for. We started back towards my house when from behind us, we heard, "No! Come back!"

The cat, having obviously realized why it ran away in the first place, made a mad dash out the front door and back into the street. We left the man with his flour, his cameras, and his posters and watched 90 Day Fiance. Because clearly, some cats just don't want to be found...

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Okay, my comment is on a side note: 90 day fiancee is what I have to do because Andrew is weird and Canadian! I only know of the show's existence because watching Say Yes to the Dress is my cathartic salve in dress shopping. Bitches will not show you different dresses. I yell at it like it's a sporting event. Anyway, glad you're back and I want to hear all about London!