We all agreed that toilet paper is very embarrassing to buy.
Present company excepted, everyone pees and poops, right? I mean, I don't. You don't. Sally and Brock certainly don't. But most gross people do. There should be nothing embarrassing about buying toilet paper. Yet Sally and Brock were freaking out, "Well, who's going to hold it when we walk out of the store? Not me. I don't want to hold it. You KNOW they won't put it in a bag."
That's true. Toilet paper never goes in a shopping bag. It must be carried and displayed like a neon sign announcing, "This is for my poo, folks! This is for numbers 1 and 2. Please picture me on a toilet because it is such a sure thing, I am preemptively buying a special product for just that."
"It's worse if you're a guy." Sally said in the trail mix aisle. "Because then it's just for number 2."
|"It's for a friend."|
We dropped Sally off, screaming out the window, "Have fun with your toilet paper! Which you're going to use on the toilet!" Her neighbor was there, helping her with her bags. He was nervously shooting us the side-eyes as Brock and I yelled the words "poo" and "pee" across Nob Hill. And he was kinda awkward not because Brock and I are idiot children with some serious bathroom issues. But because Sally bought toilet paper, and that is totally embarrassing...