Thursday, April 18, 2013

it is an orange dress. and it's tahari...

Many mornings, Blair and I stop into our work-neighborhood Starbucks and I get a Venti coffee and carbs. Blair gets (big sigh) 2 shots of espresso on a lot of ice in a Trenta pastic cup. Blair's item is not on the menu and, without fail, creates a whirlwind of confusion during FiDi Starbucks rushhour.

The main issue this Starbuck's staff has with Blair's order is putting a hot beverage in a plastic cup.

The main issue I have with Blair's order is why she needs the huge Trenta cup for 2 little espresso shots and some ice. Apparently, she adds her own water when she gets to work. And Blair's point is, Fuck you Starbucks, give me what I want. Which is valid.

Apparently, no other Starbucks has taken issue with Blair's order, including the Starbucks 2 blocks away. "I got it in Hawaii! I got it in Mexico! Here, they write a fucking paragraph on my cup."

I've seen certain barristas go and get the manager, who then shows up and makes the mistake of telling Blair no, which has never worked for anyone anywhere. They didn't even consider it in Hawaii! In Mexico! Blair doesn't really feel bad other people are waiting, which is a pressure I can barely handle. Blair doesn't think Starbucks should be allowed to have arbitrary sometimes rules, which is another thing I'm not willing to fight. I simply stand back with my CUP OF PLAIN COFFEE and watch the show.

Obviously, used for chilled water later on.
One exchange left Blair so ticked off (although with her drink in hand) that she actually contacted Starbucks headquarters. Here, in her own words, is what transpired:

"oh i emailed- a response-bot wrote back- i replied asking for a stuporvisor...that went on for a while, a stuporvisor actually got back to me with his phone number - i called - left message - no response for a week - called back - left message - some other DM emailed me apologies (sort of) saying she saw that it was a re-Dick policy and she would talk to the staff."

I asked Blair for clairification about Starbuck's policy:

"they said that a hot BEVERAGE can damage the cup, i kept pointing out that they put it in a plastic VENTI cold cup so that policy is null and void. it took 5 or 6 emails to get them to admit it."

I love that Blair emailed these people 6 times. I, on the other hand, just snuck back into that Starbucks for a snack because I am a horrible person with no will power and they have La Boulange pastries now. I settled on a carrot cake muffin, which is a brown muffin and made out of vegetables and raisins. As I order, 3 gorgeous men walk in, and because I live in a world of constant food shame, I stood in tense, humiliated silence as the entire staff of Starbucks, the same staff who are now afraid of Blair, repeatedly announce, discuss, and FEIGN confusion over whether or not that girl in the orange outfit ordered a muffin or cake...

1 comment:

TRENTAblair said...

I'm reDONKulous, but right!