Outlet Mall: The Livermore Outlet Mall is only a few months old and it is very nice, with plants hanging from trellises, a huge food court, and lots of fancy shops. For example, the Kate Spade Outlet (take all the time you need) not only had all of their real shit discounted, but it was all an extra 40% off. Some outlets, as you know, aren't really outlets but "Factory Brand Stores" which means the same looks but shittier and for $10 less. See: J. Crew. But the Kate Spade Outlet was, as the kids say, off the hook. The Prada Outlet, however, had nothing under a billion dollars. It was basically a Prada store in Livermore, and thus considered an outlet. Even the nylon make-up bags were $120, SO WHATEVER. We were surprised to enjoy the Ambercrombie & Fitch outlet because as Melissa said, "This is how an outlet should be. Shit just piled on tables and a sign saying 'ten dollars.'" My favorite outlet was the Neiman Marcus outlet where they lined up all my clothes very neatly in the dressing room and I almost bought this red dress.
Hotel Movie Night: We stayed at the San Jose Fairmont because... well, I don't really know why. Actually, San Jose is a good place to hide out, and Melissa seemed to think it was near Livermore. Melissa doesn't drive and I have given up saying things like, "That's nowhere near where we're going." Anyway, we upgraded to a suite for $30, and immediately put on our pajamas. Then we ordered a ton of room service and watched Magic Mike. As neither one of use was particularly familiar with Channing Tatum, other than knowing he's a big movie star/hunk type and we should like him, we were deeply moved by his performance. At one point, his character "Magic Mike" does a break-dance/strip-dance and takes off all of his clothes, to which Melissa says to the TV screen, "Respect." I liked Magic Mike because it has 1. a street smart guy that calls women "baby girl", 2. takes place un-ironically in Tampa, and 3. features a break-dance/strip dance.
We also watched Nancy Grace. Once again, Nance is rocking the bling-y barrette, but this time she is also wearing a handcuff necklace. To which I said to the TV screen, "Respect."
Brunch Buffet: We waited an hour to get into the Fairmont San Jose's $40 brunch. In the realm of hotel brunch buffets, $40 is very, very inexpensive. However, the FSJ holds their brunch buffet in the tiny little 80's Golden Girl set in the back of the hotel, and they have no computers. It was both frustrating and mesmerizing watching the overworked staff constantly consult their handwritten list. With great formality and in business suits, they'd scrawl down names and then scan the dining room for an empty table. Then look at the book. Then look at the dining room. Look at the book. Look at the dining room. And this is the kind of place where people have, like, parties of 16. Finally the suited, stressed hostess called out for "Barb Sportsman, party of 2" and we were seated. We piled all sorts of unhealthy and random food on our plates, sprawled out, and read our sections of the paper. Melissa informed me of world events, and I told her about the most interesting and/or tragic obituaries. Thus ending our perfect, best friend, birthday weekend...