Thursday, August 23, 2012

the language of television is universal...

I just got HBO and DVR, like it's 2007. As a result, I am back to being SUPER INTO TELEVISION. I started watching The Newsroom at my folks (they have every channel ever, and never watch anything but like, the radio). I was so sucked in by my sick love of anything from Aaron Sorkin, I called up Comcast and gave them the ole', "I don't even want it, but just out of curiosity, how much would adding HBO be?"
Apparently, because I have been a Comcast customer since I moved to my flat (in 1953), I get 6 months for free, and DVR for $5. After the 6 months, my HBO is $15, but basically, they reworked my whole deal so we're paying less with HBO and DVR than we were paying for crummy basic cable before.
Thank God I was responsible about one bill, and one bill only. Comcast!
Okay, here are my shows. I need to know which ones you're watching so you can come over and we can discuss:

The Newsroom: Say what you want about Sorkin, but he wrote "You can't handle the truth!" when he was 28. So, you know, haters gonna hate. I still miss Studio 60. I love The Newsroom because I like to pretend that I work there, even though I work for a website of a local affiliate, but whatever. Journalism, etc. I love Mackenzie McHale, even though that's the fakest name ever. I like that she's so talented at what she does, but also into everyone else's drama.
And I can not STAND the assistant who got promoted and can't stop freaking out over her boyfriend and her roommate and the cute guy at work. Shut up! Much to my horror, my mother loves her big time. Does the guy from Slumdog Millionaire play more than one character? That said, I love him. And while Jeff Daniels makes me uncomfortable, and Sam Waterston seems to have the shakes, I really like everyone. Everyone except promoted assistant. I won't even learn her name, I hate her so much. Gloriously, my coworkers all agree with me. "She sucks."

Real Housewives of New Jersey: This is the only Real Housewives I watch anymore. I can't even get with New York. I am very pro-Manzo, I love Greg the gay roommate, I am a Chris girl, not an Albie girl, and Chris Laurita scares me but I like it. The Manzos make me want to marry a big friendly Italian and have babies and raise them lovingly but strictly while shoving food in their faces. If Lauren dumps Vito, which she shouldn't, I will marry him and work at his parents deli until I start popping out sons.
I'm not the biggest Theresa fan, but OH HELL NO JOE GUIDICE. I don't want to like the Gorgas, but I think they are (Brock laughs when I say this) well-intentioned. And I love the Wakiles! I would feel right at home at Kathy and Rich's.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: What? Like you're not watching this? Mama June makes me feel great about myself, although I think she can do better than Sugarbear. I love them all, and I want to see her Forklift Toe.

Hotel Hell: This is Chef Gordon Ramsay's show that is very similar to Kitchen Nightmares, but with hotels. Kitchen Nightmares involves Chef Highlights going into struggling restaurants (in the UK and USA) and screaming and cursing them back into business. Hotel Hell is basically the same thing, but with hotels. I found out about this show thought Rain's must-read column on the SF Appeal, Appealing TV. So actually, Hotel Hell was the first show I DVR'd to see if I felt watching at leisure. Now I look forward to it. The series opener is a 2-parter, so I recommend you do the same.
Hotel Hell is actually a reality show I would recommend to my folks. Hotel Hell is very Spotswood Family in the TV Room eating homemade blondies (right?) and screaming at the TV, a la The Amazing Race.

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution: It is adorable, and it also makes me feel like I know a lot about green vegetables being good for you.

Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Miami Dolphins: What can I say? I got sucked in. A guy headbutts (sp?) his lady and gets fired on camera? I am in. They have a Rookie Talent Show. It's a lot like 'The Franchise" about the SF Giants, going behind the scenes of a professional sports team. The head coach reminds me of Mr. Lippi, my favorite history teacher at SI. Also, I work with all guys. And I have to post news stories about sports. Watching this helps me know what the hell everyone else is talking about.
When my brother Alex allows me to watch sports with him, he will conveniently point out things like, "He just lost his mom to breast cancer" or "That guy has been married eight times." This is how I like watching sports, and this is Hard Knocks. According to Alex, they do this with a different team every year. Who knew?

And then, I just started Small Town Security. It's about a small rural Georgia town security firm. One of the security guards is transgendered, and he is EASILY the most relatable, non-controversial person on the show. Actually, Small Town Security could be good for America because even Todd Akin would be like, "Dennis is the only one making any sense. Thank God for Dennis."
THIS is a pretty amazing scene. But otherwise, no one really cares that Dennis used to be Denise and they all have their own drama and weirdness to deal with.

So, this is my TV jam. I am dying to both discuss and take on recommendations. Hit me...


Clair said...

I don't have cable (I know, I know) but I'd really like to see The Newsroom. I still miss Sports Night.

Seana said...

Surprisingly, I am not watching any of the shows listed! I need to update my recording schedule. I do watch a lot of sci-fi which seems like it is non-existant in your world. I watch Survivor religiously when it is on (former survivors medically evacuated come back for another try this season!). I also watch True Blood and Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire on HBO. I expect you will LOVE Boardwalk Empire when it comes back this fall.

Sonia said...

I feel like I watch so much TV, but I don't watch any of these shows.

If you are not watching it, I highly recommend "Louie" on FX. It's funny as hell.

Lisa said...

Use your new HBO subscription to watch HBOGo on your laptop and please please please watch the 24/7 about hockey, either Pens/Caps or Rangers/Flyers so we can discuss and go to SF's new minor league team's games (blog fodder!).

I also heart The Newsroom but I wish Mackenzie would stop punishing herself for the breakup. It happened yeeears ago. Let's all move on.

And to person above who suggested Boardwalk Empire: You will want to catch up on that because the new season stars Bobby Cannavale and I believe you have a thing for him.

P.S. He was JUST in SF. In your hood, judging by his twits. Did you stalk him? Please tell me you did.

Heather Ashley Chase said...

Completely agree about Real Housewives of NJ. Every point you mentioned, is dead on accurate to my thought's. just awesome.

New York lost me with crazy Ramona and her pino! lol