Tuesday, August 28, 2012

i had a bad dream...

I am awake because I had a nightmare that my mom, my brother and I were all in a suburban public school which was also a Kaiser Permanente, and there was a mass shooting. I woke up after grabbing Joanne and Alex to hide in a closet. It was one of those dreams that was REAL. Typing this on my bed pre-dawn, I am still ready to leap into action. Also, I didn't know you can still have nightmares when you're 34. So, while I'm up, several things:

1. Jesus. I'm 34. Typing that sucks, almost as much as having a mass shooting nightmare.

2. Did you read the comments on this week's Tourist Trapped? I love them. People ask me all the time, I think kind of dickishly, 'How do you deal with all the nasty comments?' At first I hated them, took them personally, etc. Brock does an amazing impression of a commenter. Now, I get worried when no one responds. No mean comments? Shit, no one read this. When I was talking Chris into dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, I mentioned that someone pointed out in the comments that I've been liking places too much, and they weren't even tourist traps. The commenter wanted me to go somewhere SUPER touristy. I agreed with them. In a rare moment of putting himself in my shoes, Chris said, "You can't win. If you write that it sucked, you're an elitist asshole who is also dumb and a girl, which makes you even more dumb. If you love it, you're boring." I wonder how he feels about the most recent comment, "No one cares about your dining experiences with Big Chris. Nobody."

3. Blair and I walked to BART after work, and we passed by Togo's. Naturally, I said, "Togo's is my jam." Blair responded, "I can't eat there. There's something about their meat." (OMGLOL) Blair and I both work in a weird neighborhood that has limited lunch options. If you're willing to walk 10 minutes into the FiDi, great. There's tons of expensive salad bars, sandwich bars, booze bars, etc. I am partial to Lee's Deli. But to run outside and grab something quick, our options are really limited. A Subway just opened on the corner. And it's packed. Two blocks down is a Togo's. I've done extensive research on the two.

Subway is good because it's literally across the street from my job, and they have a low-calorie breakfast sandwich that co-worker Bill and I enjoy "before 11." But for an actual sandwich, even though you can get it on flatbread, Subway is ridiculous. Subway is set up like a conveyor belt, so several people manhandle your sandwich with great confusion. I like the 6" Turkey Bacon Avocado with lettuce, onions, and Honey Mustard. This sandwich requires a team of people forgetting about the bacon in the microwave, attempting to apply tomatos and constantly holding your half-made sandwich in midair while asking the next guy in line what he wants. WHICH IS ALWAYS PASTRAMI. (Sick.) At Togo's, on the other hand, only one person deals with your order. Instead of flatbread, they have wraps. I get the Asian Chicken Salad Wrap with Low-Fat Honey Mustard, because it's better than their "Asian" dressing anyway. And since only one person has to deal with me, I never have to announce to an entire sandwich shop, "Um, I think my bacon is still in the microwave." As a result, I am on Team Togo's, or as Mel calls it, "To GO's."

4. Finally, and most importantly, Melissa is in Tampa covering the Republican Convention for CBS SF. She'll also be at the Democratic Convention (phew.) She is gone for WEEKS, and taken all this time off her real job as a fancy lawyer to follow her dream. I am getting lots of text messages about what Tampa looks like, and Melissa has strict instructions to propose to Cory Booker on my behalf. Follow her on FB and Twitter, if you're into that. Tune into the (awesome) CBS SF morning show, if you're up a 6:45am. And also, this is Mel's dream. She is, after all, in a motel in Tampa alone...

1 comment:

Blair said...

I said TURKEY, but meat IS way funnier, you're RIGHT! I hope you get a free TOGO'S sandwich outta this post!