As I have recently discovered public transportation, I now try and take Muni most places. I already paid for a Clipper card. I thus regard the bus as free transportation. The money I am saving on parking and gas must be adding up! (I have no idea.) But as Brittney recently warned me, "It's different late at night."
Tuesday night, I took Muni home from a late dinner. It was 11:30 at night, and I boarded the 27 Bryant towards the Mission. Right away, I had to step over what was obviously a river of pee. An elderly gentleman sat up front, and he seemed to be the source of the issue. Everyone else on the bus sat towards the back. Joining them as we drove through the city in a bus filled with pee near midnight, I hoped we'd all break into a gritty-yet-friendly 80's dance, a la Michael Jackson's 'BAD' video.
I watched the old man disembark a few stops later. When he stood, of course, the back of his pants were soaked. Just soaked. And the kid sitting next to me very sadly and sincerely signed, "Aw, that's a shame."
As we drove into the Mission, the bus driver took what appeared to be a couple of take-out napkins and while steering, shook them open and dropped them on two little sections of the many rivers of pee. But really, what was he supposed to do about it at all?
The next morning, back on the bus on our way to work, I regaled my friend and bus-buddy Blair with the previous night's events.
"Oh, that was your first pee?" She said. "That's cute. I remember mine."