Tuesday, May 29, 2012

"why are you dressed like a middle-aged housewife..."

Last night, Big Chris took me to dinner at Southpaw, a very hipster BBQ place on Mission. We ate brisket and hushpuppies of what I deemed "prison trays." I think Chris can sense when I need him to be nice to me. He paid for dinner, he let me drive his fancy car (so he could drink) and we came home and watched 'The Killing.'
One of the reasons I think it's so rare that Chris is nice to me is because when he is super nice, I make a really big deal about it. I can't shut up.
"Oh my God, you are being nice today! Is today a nice day? Oh shit, I need to milk this. Can we watch a Queen Latifah romantic comedy? Will you change the lightbulb out back? Now is the part where you listen to all of my feelings!"
I can't help myself. I think it's so funny that he's willing to put up with this QUARTERLY that I need to see how far I can take it.
Will he take out the recycling? Will he help me move furniture? Will he sing me a song?
"Fine. What song do you want me to sing?"
"I want you to sing 'Moves Like Jagger' by Maroon Five."
"Forget it."
"I want you to sing 'Rumor Has It' by Adele."
And he did. I told him that my mother's greatest fear is that he and I will get married. I love saying this to Chris because it elicits a thrilling range of conflicted reactions.
"First of all, I will never marry you. I'm not insane and I am already a U.S. citizen. Second of all, your mother would LOVE it if we got married. I am a gainfully-employed sports-fan. That would be like, her dream coming true."
Finally, to cap of this incredibly rare night of Big Chris being awesome, he had a brilliant observation about The Killing:
Rosie's death and the old case that sent Linden to the looney bin (the first time) ARE RELATED.
Could it be? Historically, Chris is pretty good (and pretty annoying) about correctly shouting out the name of the killer halfway through the movie. At this point in The Killing, I feel like options have been exhausted. It's not Billy Campbell. It's not the inappropriate teacher. I'm sick of Mitch's road trip back in time. I'm over the Polish Mafia. This whole Indian Casino/evil police chief is getting a bit ridiculous. Like, you just can't beat people up and have them institutionalized because they were trespassing. This was all covered in The Changeling.
If Rosie Larsen were watching The Killing, she'd be like, "Uh. Forget it. I don't care anymore. I'm going to fly with the monarchs."
So for all of our sake, I hope Chris is right, and we are nearing a conclusion. Also, I look forward to a backwards-day evening with Big Chris again in 3-4 months...


Fred Rogers said...

From burrito Sundays to more refined quarterly dinners with pleasantries?
Not bad.

Bonnie said...

How fancy is the fancy car? I can't believe it's not a Camry.