Thursday, February 02, 2012

not at flour + water, of all sacred places...

Big Chris took me (and Brittney) to flour + water for my birthday, where we sat at the communal table next to two broads having dinner. Suddenly, they were being very flirty with my burrito buddy, Big C.
Before I could yell, "Have at him, ladies. He pees with the door open" one of them pulled out her cell phone and started showing him (and begrudgingly Brittney and me) wacky Facebook photos of internet memes. We're talking surprised kitten stuff. It was all very 2004.
Again, fine. Whatever. I was being nice. Chris loves to regale people with the ONE time I got jealous, like 7,000 years ago. But this was not one of those times.
It wasn't until they displayed one Facebook wall photo in particular that I became a total, blatant, leave-us-alone bitch.
The photo was of a little Asian boy. And across his forehead were the letters, "HERRO."
Big Chris, who is half-Asian, politely laughed. He doesn't give a shit. And Brittney, who was the farthest away, couldn't really even see. But I did not politely laugh. I said, "I never thought I'd see someone show a stranger a racist photo at flour + water!"
One of the women said, "It's okay, I'm half Korean!"
Be that as it may, it's not okay. In private, I say dumb stuff to Chris all the time. When Chris calls my phone, a photo of the Far East Restaurant pops up. And he refers to all of my problems as "white lady shit." Between friends, we all probably say politically incorrect nonsense all the time, and quite frankly, I LOVE it.
But I'm not nudging strangers next to me, flashing some STUPID and offensive photo of a KID and being all, "Hey, check this out. Real funny stuff."
Since I'm such a big buzzhill, those broads paid their bill and left, managing to flash Chris a look that basically said, "That chick you're with is super uptight."
Big Chris was thrilled. "Oh my God, you are so jealous right now."
Anyway, I'll probably be a lot less 'jealous' when those 'ladies' are charged with a hate crime...


Cath @ Constance Reader said...

UGHHHHHH the "I am a member of the racial/ethnic/gender group that I am disparaging so it's OK by all of us!" excuse. People. Get your shite together already! (I'm part Irish, so I'm allowed to say "shite")

Sorry you had to deal with this kind of dumb.

sfthen said...

" (this guy) got a phone call last week, from a woman shouting excitedly in Chinese. He kept repeating "You have the wrong number," but she continued until he yelled "LONG NUMBAH!" After a moment's silence, she responded in what seemed to be sheer delight, "OH! LONG NUMBAH!" and hung up . . . " [Chronicle Gossip Columnist, 13 Oct 1986]

sfmike said...

This sounds like an update of the scene in the diner in "Giant" with Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson, except in this case the knock-down dragout on-the-floor fight at f + w should have been between you and the unconsciously racist white girl. I'd pay money to see it.