I am heartbroken that I did not sneak into the Junior League of San Francisco Fashion Show Model Auditions yesterday. Based on the Facebook photos I'm seeing, it appeared to be held in a fancy hotel ballroom, and involved a women strutting across the carpet surrounded by fellow Junior Leaguers.
I knew, as everyone does, that getting to model in the Junior League Fashion Show is the PINNACLE of life. (I am not kidding.) But when hearing about this, I stupidly assumed that like most charity fashion shows, the models were simply invited to participate. Oh no! These broads make each other do Next Top Model-style runway walks.
Several women I know and one of my very good friends are in Junior League. I am afraid to reveal which good friend this is as I don't want her to get in trouble. I don't know what getting in trouble with Junior League entails, but I am sure it involves being made to bus tables at a homeless outreach luncheon for NO POINTS.
Yep, they have a points system.
I was with her at a cocktail party once and we ran into several of her Junior League 'friends' one of whom was wearing an actual sweater set, unironically. I didn't want to be rude by pointing out to my beloved and awesome friend that some of her JL friends were LESS THAN COOL, but as soon as we left the party, she grabbed my arm and said, "I don't really like those girls."
That's another JL thing. They call each other girls, like we're all backstage at Fashion Week. Needless to say, the Junior League's existence scares the shit out of me mainly because they aren't like the girls that were mean to me in high school. They actually are the girls. Like, literally. Oddly, each of the women I know who are active in Junior League are kind of badass, beautiful, funny broads. So maybe I should change my perception. I think they do raise a ton of money for worthy causes, like recycling late-90's "Return To Tiffany" necklaces.
But fashion show model auditions? Can you imagine anything more terrifying than women in their 20s and 30s in actual sweater sets watching you try to be a runway model?
"Oh, Susan's trying out? That's funny."
That said, I want the Junior League of San Francisco Limited Edition Centennial Scarf in 'Fall'...