Friday, October 07, 2011

"there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.” - madeleine albright

There is no Necessary Conversation today. I'm so sorry. We have good excuses, tho. Anyway, get this.
Last night, Melissa moderated a debate at the Commonwealth Club for INFORUM, which is the cool kids club within the Commonweath. (You should join. It is wonderful.) I was the Mistress of Ceremonies, which basically meant I had to warm up the audience before it all started. I gave like, a seven-minute speech on dumb mayoral stuff and then Mel took the stage along with all sixteen candidates.
Sixteen candidates? Yeah, sixteen candidates.
For a myriad of reasons, mainly because she was so honored to be moderating an esteemed Commonwealth Club event, Melissa busted her ass even more than usual on this debate. She's been working on this for over a month. And you know, everyone's style is different. It takes all kinds. And I am biased. But she nailed it.
So after the official debate, there was a video presentation. Several people (and some candidates) snuck out to the lobby, including Melissa and me. She had to get back on stage, and we needed like, 20 seconds to confer on her wrap up. All of these people kept coming up to say, "Oh hello, I'm so and so and wasn't that great."
To which we smiled and said, "Oh, thank you so much."
This middle-aged woman in faded black and burgundy waited her turn and then said directly to Melissa, "Excuse me. I think you did a really good job. You really did. but I found your tone condescending. You were really very rude, AND MANY PEOPLE THOUGHT SO."
Melissa just looked at her and said, "Okay. Thanks for your feedback. Thanks."
"I think you did a good job, but it was really rude to several of the candidates."
"Okay. Thank you. Thank you."
I was speechless. In retrospect, I would've said, "We don't come to your job and tell you how to weave artisan wall tapestries. Send a psychotic email like everyone else."
But I just stood there, silent and amazed this woman was willing to tell Melissa she was basically a bitch while the event was still going on. Mel had to get back on stage after this shit.
So Melissa runs off to go back onstage, and I stood in the lobby people watching and shooting the dreamweaver dirty looks. She had the audacity to smile at me! She looked right at me and smiled! And I just stared her down.
With that, another two middle-aged women walked up to me and said, "I just want you to know, this part that's going on right now is really boring. You shouldn't have done this."
"Oh." I said. "Okay, well I don't work here."
"I know." One of them said. "I just think you should know."
First of all, since when do we walk up to perfect strangers and complain about shit. I really hate that The Gap still sells capri pants. Am I shouting this from the sidewalk? And this "many people thought so" thing really chaps my hide. If you're going to tell someone they blow, speak for yourself.
Second of all, I am still reeling from the fact that the Condescending Lady who thought Melissa was condescending got away with it. I have seen Melissa dress people down and there is still a crater left in the Earth at the scenes of those tirades. Mel just took it from this broad and went back to work.
Melissa just didn't have time to, how shall I put this, make her regret her words.
In closing, I think it is incredibly lame that three middle-aged WOMEN came to a political event produced and moderated by young WOMEN and chose to criticize. I am guessing that none of them would have approached Phil Matier with these thoughts.
Although I would've liked to have seen that.
Anyway, chicks man...

PS: Truth be told, I met two really wonderful women last night who came to the forum just to meet me and Mel. So Tina and Jamie, you balanced out the mean broads. And then some!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There's a generational thing at play - older women feel threatened by successful, younger women whom they regard as not having had to fight their way to the top in the way they feel they had to. Sick and sad that the impact is that older women treat younger women so poorly, mirroring the way they were treated - and complain about - by men.