I was up and off to Dry Bar for a blow-out by 10am. I decided to have my hair blown out because even though a hair and make-up person was coming, I thought I'd be helpful.
I should not have been helpful.
I emerged looking like Shirley Temple on hormones. I have no idea why my hair was curled into such tight and dramatic ringlets, but I was too polite to say anything. Instead, I'm bitching about it on the internet.
I then raced over to Melissa's because her apartment is very cool. It is certainly cooler than my apartment, and where we'd decided to do the shoot.
It also gave us what Melissa called, "home court advantage."
Also along for the photoshoot were Tara and Catherine. In fact, my three girlfriends had all taken the day off work to spend an afternoon watching me pose. When the (gorgeous) photographer, his assistant and the hair/make-up artist arrived, we already had a full house.
I sat nervously while my three suddenly wildly protective friends stood behind me, arms folded.
"Beth is very funny." They announced. "Beth looks best from certain angles."
Catherine stepped in. "Not to be a stage mom, but Beth is best when she's natural."
I think when Alex the photographer used the word "glamour shot" we all calmed down a little. He was, after all, speaking my language.
None the less, I was starting to regret having the cast of Sex and the City trying to control the situation. I wanted this guy to like me. But we pressed on, I tried on some dresses as the very cool Veronica started to fix my hair.
In my first dress, Alex sat me down at the dining room table. Fake eyelashes and lipgloss and big hair and lights and props and Melissa in the background muttering, "Think Tina Fey!"
And then, the perfectly styled and charming Alex, with his eyes like the waters of a tropical beach, started clicking away. And we all started laughing and having fun. And Melissa snuck behind him and saw some of the shots he was taking and screamed, "Oh my God."
We all stopped.
Melissa looked at me, kind of clutched her chest and said, "Bethy. It's...it's awesome."
As I gushed to my mother later, "It looked so different! I couldn't believe it was me! It looked like a real magazine photo!"
We did three dresses in three hours. And there was one moment, with Veronica tweaking my hair and Alex moving lights around and my girlfriends picking out earrings where I just sat there, looked around and thought, "I should probably appreciate this moment."
So like a huge nerd, I took a mental picture of the scene before me, which was a very glamorous magazine shoot. And even if nothing else cool ever happens to me for the rest of my life, I should never complain about anything because I got a whole afternoon of getting to pretend I'm a star and IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I CAN HARDLY STAND THAT IT HAPPENED.
Any fantasy I've ever had about being in my very own photo shoot was fulfilled and then some. I'm sure the other 19 members of this list have far bigger fish to fry than getting their photo taken. But I don't!
As Alex sweetly showed me a few of the photos he's taken, I looked at myself smirking on his little digital camera screen all made-up and thought, "Shit. I better start writing some good blog posts..."
*I have tons of photos of behind the scenes but I don't know if I'm allowed to show you until the issue comes out. And it's killing me...