Last night was the San Francisco Magazine Best of the Bay Party. San Francisco is run by glossy, over-sized magazines, so just get used to it. These important periodicals officially decide what's cool.
Anyway, I ended up running into lots of people I knew and lots of people my perfect friend Catherine knew. Melissa was there too, but since no one was discussing the intricate complexities of local government policy, she bailed. Melissa cannot be won over by free crostini.
I can! You could stick barf on a toasted slice of baguette, tell me it's rustic burrata and I'd be like, "What is this I taste? Elderflower? What is this chunk? Fiddlehead fern?"
Catherine was very excited to play skeeball, set up in one corner. I was more excited for the wacky photo-shoot opportunity where you immediately get emailed a digital version of the photo. And they do NOT (I repeat do NOT) let you hem and haw over your image. ?"Oh, lemme just try another one with..."
That gold jacket was provided. It's American Apparel. How bad is it that I kinda want one? We decided that if we used the actual magazine in our picture, they might put us in said magazine. Catherine knows this instinctively whereas I'm all, "Oh, I get it! Great idea!"
These are the things they don't want you to know, by the way. If you want your fancy society mug to show up in print, you've got to be LOVING a Charbay Blood Orange Cosmo while being delighted by a Kara's Cupcake while visibly bopping to DJ Funky Frisco or whatever.
And obviously, I don't care about this stuff in the least. Nope. Not me.
So enough with SF Mag who has no idea who the hell I am and onto 7x7 who might. Cheekily asking my friends to vote in this Reader's Choice thing feels like I'm running for Junior High Sergeant at Arms. And I'm kinda pretending like I don't care, which I think we all know is bullshit. It is emotionally impossible for me to care more.
But if I make it to the next round, because a blogger being kicked off an internet contest in the first round is embarrassing, I will celebrate by buying that dumb gold jacket...
*I should also point out that two of my friends are on this list. Anna at Marlowe and Zach at Portal A are great, wonderful and cool people. So if you have a deep aversion towards voting for me (and how could you not?) you could vote for them. Since everyone votes in this. I mean, really.