Sunday, July 31, 2011

i'm a regular george michael...

I went camping this weekend with my friend Catherine and her friends (aka: strangers.) This morning, as Catherine and I were brushing our teeth in the women's public restroom, two little girls from the next campsite came over and were adjusting their barrettes and toe-socks next to us.
"Hi." I said.
One of the little girls said, "Hi."
Catherine shot me a look.
"Did you guys camp last night?"
The one that talked said, "Yeah."
"Me too." I said. "Were you scared?"
"No." She said. Her friend shot her a look as Catherine shot me a look.
"You weren't?!?" I said. "Well, I was kinda scared."
The both politely smiled at me as Catherine moved to a different section of the facilities, elbowing me on her way.
"Do you live in San Francisco?" I asked. The talker shook her head, as her friend gave me the side-eyes. "Where did you come from?" I asked.
"Stockton."
"Wow. That's far away. What grade are you in?"
"Fifth."
"So does that make you ten?" I was trying to look as normal as possible, but I had just spent the night in a tent. I looked like Janice Joplin after a bender.
"Yeah." She said.
Catherine emerged, handed me some face moisturizer and said, "Let's go."
"Bye!" I said.
And the talker said, "Bye."
Catherine was all freaked out that I talked to unsupervised children in a public restroom, but I don't see what the big deal is. I am not a child predator. I am an inquisitive person and don't you think it's interesting they came all the way from Stockton?!?
"Well, yeah. That was interesting." Catherine said, before regaling everyone back at the campsite (14 paces away) with my lewd conversation skills. And obviously, kudos to the parents of the quiet girl who have obviously drilled home the old, "Don't talk to strangers (especially in public bathrooms)." But I've decided the chattier girl just followed her instincts that I'm not the kidnapping type and chose to be polite. Which is more important: being paranoid about people talking to you in a toilet or basic human decency? You tell me.
Later, Catherine's fianace Brian was rolling up his tent. A little boy from the other campsite came over and said, "You guys leavin'?"
"Yeah." said Brian. "What about you?"
"Yeah, we leavin' too." He said. "We just stayed one night."
"That's cool." said Brian.
"See ya later!" The kid said. And Brian waved at him.
I walked over to Brian. "How come you're allowed to talk to unsupervised children?"
He shoved the tent in the bag, looked up at me and said, "Because I am non-threatening..."

There will be more on this camping thing later. I just thought that was funny...