Tonight, I am attending the St. Ignatius All Class Reunion. If I get stuck at the Class of '32 table, cutting someone's meat, I'm going to be pissed. Under normal circumstances, I would never attend this because my high school terrifies me. But I am way cooler now (that should give you an indication of just how uncool I was) and I have to assume that everyone else is much nicer now.
If I don't come home, you can find me in my usual spot, crying by the dumpster behind the Commons.
Tomorrow, I need to bring "a salad for 16" to Mill Valley for a family reunion that is being held in a public park because my second cousin has deemed my parents' home "too dangerous" for her children. Alex and my survival of this apparent torture chamber is obviously a miracle. So I'll be assembling mixed field greens and making my career sound more exciting than it is tomorrow afternoon, while a toddler to whom I'm distantly related chokes on a twig.
And hopefully I will not have to explain the following to any of the people I see in the next 48 hours. Because they don't get me like you do.
Here is today's Necessary Conversation, which again features our wonderfully tolerant live audience, and references to Miss Marple, Nickelodeon's Double Dare and Timothy McVeigh.
Have a great weekend, boos!