this one's for the children...

Alas, there will be no SFGate Culture Blogs from me this week because OCCASIONALLY I TAKE A WEEK OFF. JESUS. Also, the time that I could've written my posts was spent instead reading the comments to last week's Tea Party post. 400! I've never made 400 comments in my life, much less received them in writing. So big thanks to the Tea Partiers who hate my guts for crashing their little soiree.

A few things:

1. Do you watch Parks & Recreation? I fucking love it. You know what else I fucking love? TomHaverfoods.

2. New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg saw a tweet from a fan about her kidneys, or lack there of, and managed to find this chick a new kidney. I wish I could report NKOTB were involved in black market organ trading but I guess they did this all over Twitter, which is actually how major surgery is performed now. Brock and I had quite a fun time working NKOTB songs into this story, like how Donnie has the Right Stuff, we hope she Hangs Tough and naturally, Please Don't Go Girl. (Kudos to Zoe Stagg on her, "New Kidney on the Block.")

3. Did you know Zoe Stagg lives in Italy now? She does. Do you know who wants to go to Italy now? Right here. According to my father, who's like Gordon Gecco with flight deals, I can get to Italy on United for $1226. Then he sent me a link to villa rentals, because that is the fantasy world in which my father lives. Big Chris seems to think he's coming to Italy with me. "What do I have to do? Nothing! I'm going." So...this is a project I'm working on. How often to you get the opportunity to visit your beloved friend and her US Army Radio Show stationed in Tuscany? Advice and money are both welcome.

4. Speaking of trips, Saturday night my girlfriends came over to my folks' house and had dinner with my dad. My mom is still in New York, so we decided to kick it with RDS and listen to his thoughts on the world. As a result of my father's total story-telling pandering to Melissa and Tara, including a long, involved tale about meeting Jimmy Hoffa Jr. at a SAG party, Melissa is now hell bent on taking Necessary Conversation to the Iowa Caucuses. Tara's suggestion involves renting an RV and driving out there. If I don't die arguing with Big Chris to and fro the old country, I will certainly kill one of my goddamn best friends trying to drive an RV to Iowa. That being said, I'm pretty sure 'Necessary Conversation interviews Michelle Bachman' would be gripping journalism. Also, it's a great opportunity for me to re-enact scenes from Field of Dreams. "No one's called me Moonlight Grahm in fifty years!"

5. Finally, all those kids on the Face Book are losing their shit over this. And this. Have you tried to do it yet? It's surprisingly hard (that's what she said)...