Oprah revealed yesterday on her show, which I watch religiously (inexplicably prompting my mother to roll her eyes), that she has a secret half-sister she just discovered!
In addition to Oprah's dead brother Jeffrey and dead sister Patricia, her mother gave up a baby girl years ago named...Patricia! So basically, it's like Patricia Number 1 never left.
All I can think about, and I can't be alone in my crass curiosity, is how long it takes for Patricia Number 2 to go from middle class and sister-less to living the life of (Ope yell) OPRAH'S LONG LOST SISTER!!!
Once that DNA test came through and Oprah was like, "Tears! OMG! Patricia Number 2!", you know P2 was like, "So, um, I drive a 1987 Camry. And uh, these earrings are Claire's."
Does Oprah just immediately write her a check, put her on the payroll, buy her a house? How does this work? Because the dream of any adopted kid must be, "I bet I'm really related to the most famous and important person in the world."
I am not adopted and I think that every day.
Other questions I have include: is P2 scared because obviously, Oprah prefers to be an only child? I mean, both of her siblings are dead. BOTH.
And, did you watch this very special episode? Oprah's mom, Vernita, who gave P2 up for adoption, is not exactly going to win the world's warmest mother award.
Although this is old news, as according to Wikipedia, Oprah has stated that she has, "chosen not to be a mother because she had not been mothered well."
Deal with that, Vernita.
Anyway, Oprah brings P2 over to Vernita's house (aka: the house that Oprah built) and sitting around the dining room table, Oprah asks her mom why she gave up P2 and never said a word about her. Vernita, WITH HER BACK TO P2, slowly and kind of tersely explains to Oprah why she gave "her" up.
And I kept thinking, "Look at P2, Vernita! Tell it to P2!"
P2, much to her credit, seems pretty nice and normal. P2 just went looking for her birth-mother and when she found out she was related to the ruler of the world, never tried to sell her story to the tabloids. Needless to say, Oprah is loving this about P2 right now.
Anyway, back to the real issue, who does this all work, money-wise? Does P2 at least get all of Oprah's favorite things? There are like, years of back-presents. Seriously. I've got to know...
UPDATE: In my need to know more about Vernita, I discovered this eye-opening quote: "Once you could get a guy to take you out to dinner and take you to do nice things," Vernita says. "You can't get no man to do that today! For the most part, they are in prison. And the others, they just are not interested in the young ladies."
That explains it.