Thursday, January 27, 2011

do you want to sleep over...

TripAdvisor released it's list of Top 10 Grossest Hotels in America and number two is the Jack London Inn in Oakland. This is my favorite review:

"I don't stank! You stank!" Those words echoed down the hall and through the paper thin walls of our room. At 2am our fellow guests down the hall had started their loud and drunken party. Now it was 4:30am and the party had devolved into a screaming match in the hallway.

BANG BANG BANG. That is the sound of someone beating on the door of our room. While our calls to the front desk had failed to summon any hotel staff, our neighbors had taken the time from their drinking and fighting to tell us they did not appreciate our complaints. With some effort we barricaded the door with furniture and sat by the phone ready to call 911. Luckily the partiers had tired of harassing other hotel guests and returned to fighting amongst themselves.

When I left that morning for the first day of the bar exam, the party down the hall was still going. During the bar exam's lunch break my girlfriend and I gathered our things and left for another hotel. Judging by the other reviews on this web site, our experience was not unique. In short, I have spent the night in cheap Bolivian hotels next to soccer riots that were quieter than the Jack London Inn.

Assuming the other patrons had been quiet all night, I would still consider the Jack London Inn the worst hotel I had ever seen. The rooms displayed a level of filth and discomfort that mere neglect could never produce. The parking lot resembled a post apocalyptic junk yard. The halls reeked of cigarette smoke, body odor, and failure. Commuter rail trains, horns blasting, passed the hotel every few minutes.

I would have had a better experience drinking $45 of cheap wine and spending the night in Oakland's drunk tank than I had at the Jack London Inn for $45 a night. At least the jailer would have had the courtesy to tell the inmates to be quiet. If Jack London were alive today, he would change his name to avoid any association with this benighted hotel.

I think this would be a funny Tourist Trapped. To, you know, stay here. I feel strongly there is safety in numbers. I don't snore, but I scare easily and am wildly judgemental. I plan on staying up all night, chugging Diet Coke, chewing ice and grabbing your arm, hissing, "Did you hear that?!?!"
Are any of you brave enough...

7 comments:

Blair said...

OMG! Great chicken and waffle place in the lobby...will you spring for chicken and waffles???

Clair said...

I'd do it for chicken and waffles.

Lisa said...

This confirms my decision to take Feb bar in Sacto and stay at a Joie de Vivre hotel and avoid Oakland is GENIUS.

sfmike said...

No, I am not brave enough.

Steve K. said...

Amtrak trains and freight trains travel down the middle of the street in front of the Jack London Inn, which is glorious if one is a foamer ( railfan )...bubbles of excitement, around the mouth at the sight of a train. Yoshi's is about two blocks away. The early morning produce district is nearby. The Oakland Ferry and the FDR yacht on the waterfront .

Be_Devine said...

You know I love sharing hotel beds with you, but I'm not willing to risk getting scabies from this joint. Don't they have a Ritz we can review?

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Seana said...

I'm with SFMike. I don't think I'm brave enough for this. Carneros Inn - Yes, Jack London Inn - No.