how about a new tv, ope...

That screaming you hear in the streets is Oprah's ULTIMATE Favorite Things episode. Brock just IMed me a panicked, "TURN ON OPRAH FAVORITE THINGS."
I flicked my little desk Zenith on, one of the bonuses of working at a TV station being that everyone gets a TV at their desk. I have, it's safe to say, the oldest TV in the building. Anyway, Oprah was standing there dressed in this weird looking Halloween costume thing.
"Why is she dressed like Robin of Batman and Robin?" I asked.
And with that, Oprah ripped off her costume to reveal a red, sequined dress and screamed this was her LEGENDARY Favorite Things episode.
The audience, as they have been trained to do, promptly lost their shit, Brock and myself included.
Crying, rolling in the aisles, complete hysteria.
Because they know what Brock and I know: that any shit Oprah likes, they get for free. So far, they've gotten a diamond watch, cashmere sweaters and a matching throw, a Tory Burch tote and shoes, the 18-scent collection of $55 scented candles ("a candlepalooza"), hair products, a fancy camera and diamond earrings.
And we're only 20 minutes into this.
It is both horrible and wonderful. And, as is tradition, the audience never knows that's the show they're going to. So they're really...flipping the fuck out.
Oh, and it's fake snowing the whole time.
I just pointed this out to my straight male co-workers and Tim, nervously glancing at Oprah, offered, "That's...that's a lot of stuff to carry home..."

UPDATE: They also got one of those brownie pans that makes every brownie have an edge (plus brownie mix!), a 7-day cruise, knives, macaroni and cheese (yes, macaroni and cheese), a panini press, Oprah ladies v-neck t-shirts and 3-D television. Also, the Black Eyed Peas arrived to sing a mash-up remix of "I Had the Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing AND "Little Drummer Boy."

My co-worker Bill just looked over and said, "Beth. (pause) I want you to go home and drop a brick in a brownie pan. BOOM. Every brownie has an edge."