Tuesday, April 27, 2010

maybe she's afraid someone's going to steal it...

I am currently watching Monarchy: The Royal Family, a fabulous show on public television in which we see the British Royal Family do all kinds of shit. This particular episode is called, "Inside the Firm" which is about the "full-time job" of being a member of the Royal Family.
I've always been fascinated by royalty, particularly The British Monarchy. I'll be honest. I want in on that. As a child, we'd tour fancy castles on family vacations and I'd fantasize that a member of the Queen's Guard would spot me amidst the crowds of tourists, gasp in shocked reverence, remove his big, black fur hat and whisper, "She's returned to claim her rightful throne!"
I'm still waiting on that. In the meantime, I'm dying to know what's up with the Queen and her purse. Elizabeth II refuses to put that thing down. She carries a purse everywhere, as if there's no one to say, "You know, I can hold that for you."
What, I ask you, is in that thing?

My guesses are:
1. Pictures of Diana, carried out of guilt
2. An iPhone
3. Gum

I posed the question on Twitter and responses varied.
4. An egg salad sandwich
5. A smaller purse in case the first one was inappropriately large
6. Lip balm and a comb
7. Kotex (that was Brock's suggestion)
8. A .22

My favorite Royals are the surprisingly laid back, fun-loving Charles and the deep-voiced, dutiful William. I suspect Charles was dragged through the ringer with that whole Tampon thing and as a result, has been shamed into a charming humility and desire to be liked. William seems more responsible and earnest that his frat boy brother. Plus, he seems to subtly pull the Diana card, showing up at homeless shelters at 6am and hanging out like a normal person.
Everyone else seems pretty dreadful, or at least completely out of touch with reality. And my favorite quote of this show thus far is the following:

"Of course I know your country. I gave it independence in 196o."


Sumogato said...

Tampon thing?

Anonymous said...

William invokes Diana just by looking like her. Maybe not the spitting image, but he looks more like his mum than he does his dad.

Speculating on the contents of the Royal Handbag:
1) A .380 Walther PPK ("Windsor, Elizabeth Windsor")
2) The launch codes
3) Cadbury Corgi Snax