i'm not an animal person but come ON...

Are you one of the billions of San Franciscans over the moon because Mr. Harlan the Hobo was reunited with his beloved cat "Samantha"? Not up on this scoop (heh)? Please read about it RIGHT HERE, and then let's discuss.

Mr. Harlan, a homeless San Franciscan tied his cat/companion to a pole while he went to go "get food at a nearby store." Mr. Harlan and Samantha have been together for 4 years and even though Samantha is, you know, not living in the lap of luxury, they love each other. Along comes Mr. Neville (not Aaron) and seeing Samantha ties up, rescues her by taking her back to his waterfront hotel office and nursing her to relative health.

"You should see her now!"

Mr. Harlan returns to find Samantha gone and is beside himself.

Somehow, the media gets ahold of this tragedy and yesterday, Mr. Neville finally figures out he's got Mr. Harlan's cat. Actually, one of his friends calls him up and basically (I'm paraphrasing) says, "Dude, you stole a hobo's cat!"

Mr. Neville thought about what to do "for hours." So, and here's my first question, Neville gets Harlan's phone number from the Chronicle.

His phone number? I'm curious to know where the man who ties his cat under a freeway while he goes to find food takes his calls.

Mr. Harlan comes to see Samantha at what I assume to be Mr. Neville's fancy pants offices and Neville offers to buy Samantha. Look pal, either give the cat back or don't call the guy in the first place. After all this you can't say, "Um, I didn't realize you were this homeless. I should probably keep her."

Mr. Harlon says, "That's cool. I got this." (again, paraphrasing) but does accept some cat food and $40 from Mr. Neville, with which he buys:

• a new collar
• a new leash
• a cart with wheels "for the cat"
• a sleeping bag
• a few necessities

With $40! He also got a macchiato, a subscription to 7x7, some Trish McEvoy scented candles and a bluetooth (on which to take his calls.)

Finally, and this is what really set me off, Mr. Neville tells Samantha she has a standing invitation to spend the night in his office whenever she feels like it. Samantha, lest we forget, is the cat. The human, Mr. Harlan, can go back to his brand new sleeping bag.

Mr. Harlan and Samantha both spent last night sleeping in Transbay Terminal. I would just like to remind everyone that Mr. Neville's office is where? Oh yeah. A chain hotel.

But of course with all of the media attention and whole, "Awwww, a hobo and his cat!" warmth, offers of help are coming in from all over the world, to which Mr. Harlan says, "I appreciate all the help people are offering, but I can't take money. I've always tried to do stuff on my own, but it don't work most of the time."

Cue sappy music and credits...