I could be perfectly happy spending the rest of my Halloweens with a gay man at a fancy joint. I don’t know if that means I’m doomed to spend the other 364 days a year letting my cats shit all over my home as I write West Wing fan fiction by hand, but if that’s the case, so be it. I had fun!Before we hit Le Club, Brock came over to my house to get ready, bringing with him candy which we planned to pass out to the little children in my hood. I threw on a wig and a dress and painted Brock’s face for his “Deconstructed: Ghost.” We took an offensive amount of photos of ourselves and listened at the window for the pitter patter of tiny costumed feet. Each time Brock would hear a child, he’d race out the front door with a big bowl of candy. And every single time he did, the children would walk right past him. Brock was literally shoving candy in their faces and they rejected him.
Okay, the rejected us.
Those kids had no problem stopping next door, no problem hopping from house to house taking candy from everyone else. They simply had a problem with us. We ended up giving our candy to my neighbors who graciously accepted and implied that we were being rejected because the kids didn’t know us.
“Most people giving out candy on this block are old families that have been here for a long time.”
So basically, we’re snubbed by children on Halloween because we’re gentrifying the neighborhood. Fair enough, but it’s still free candy. We weren’t making (loud) razor blade jokes or anything. Don’t kids love candy? If yuppies were passing out free burrata on rustic bruscetta or salted caramel anything, I’d be all over it.
But Brock trying to give a 6-year old a Butterfinger? No thanks, enthusiastic man in a weird white outfit. We’ll pass…
7 comments:
Semi-serious question: # of cats that starts eliciting concern?
Fantastic photo, btw.
Thanks!
Actually, I have no cats. I do have the world's most appalling collection of VHS cassettes, tho. Which is worse...
Whoa, you guys looked AMAZING.
Seriously, I am glad I clicked to embiggen that image. HOT!
Nice Rack. Seriously!
Kids are such assholes.
@Anonymous
The 3rd cat. It's always the 3rd cat.
Hi, I'm just a little confused, does white = gentrification? Or are you and Brock really gentry, like you own your place? If I'm brown and I own am I gentry? How about if I'm poor and I rent am I not gentry? Maybe gentrification is not the right description? Is it class or color?
I'm seriously trying to understand because I hear this said a lot, the mission is gentrifying, but having lived here a long time I can't tell. I can tell there are changes, most of the industry that was here is gone. but the number of restaurants with really good cocktails has increased. Crime is the same -- the murder spikes seem to correspond with demographics, like some biology experiment with rabbits. The dirt is the same, but we have lots of bikes now.
So I tried for 2 years at each of the three places I've lived in the Mission to give out candy. When I was a kid Halloween was my favorite day and I really wanted to give back some to wee goblins. But at each place, no one ever came, so I gave up. I discovered that kids generally don't go to private houses but instead walk up and down 24 and hit up the shop keepers. So I don't take it personal.
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