Monday, September 07, 2009

liberating...

I'm surprised mean comments don't happen to me more often. I'm well aware the cruel, anonymous troll is a small price to pay for constantly discussing myself all the time. You can't beg for specific attention, sadly. You've got to take the attention that comes your way. Most of my blogger pals are bombarded by these folks and seem to shrug it off.
"It's a troll."
"If that hate me so much, why are they spending their precious time commenting?"
"Dude, it's an anonymous comment. Who cares?"
I do. Oh sweet Jesus, how I care.
So, you win, mean commenter who said I have more chins than Chinatown. You win! Because I stopped dead in my tracks, raced to delete the comment and then stared at the wall hating myself for 15 minutes.
I'm not kidding. I really did.
It's always the "fat" comment that hits hardest. "Crazy, stupid bitch" doesn't really bother me. I know I'm not stupid. But as I schedule my workouts, avoid the kitchen and rip myself apart in the mirror from every angle...well, the fat comment puts a knot in my stomach (heh) for about an hour.
So as I'm sitting here, freaking out that someone took the time to anonymously tell me, "whatever you're paying your trainer, it's too much..." I figured, fuck it.
I'm just going to own my Achilles heel.
The fat comment really, really hurt my feelings.
There. I said it. Now we all know.
None the less, I will continue to blog, to make videos and to eat...
*UPDATE* There's a commenter on SFGate who doesn't understand why I get to be mean but post (the above, I guess) that my feeling get hurt when someone's mean to me. Well, first of all, duh. Second of all, I put my name, my face and my contact information on everything I post. Quite frankly, it's a lot easier to spew mean shit without providing that information...

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!
What a fucking asshole. What's the point of even leaving the comment? I don't get it...

Evan said...

And with that, my girl just OWNED a troll.
I will not tell you how gorgeous you are because that would imply the troll hit anywhere near close to home. I will simply tell you that you are an awesome writer whose ability to be honest about the shit everyone deals with but never says completely takes away anyone else's ability to hurt you. Nice work.

Kate said...

Your honesty is so, so beautiful.

antfaber said...

Some people are just pissed off and want to spread the misery. Living well is the best revenge.

P.S. I think you're cute, but then you'd think I'm a hobo if you met me (not that you'd be far wrong) so I don't know how much of a lift that gives you.

Art Vandelay, A.I.A. said...

You probably have to blame this use of anonymnity and pseudonyms on at least the ancient Greeks, possibly even further back. I mean was there really a Ulysses? Come on . . .
And like on "Seinfeld"--that really is Jerry Seinfeld, but those other people, they're not themselves. Kramer for example, Kramer's not really Kramer, he's somebody else playing Kramer.
It really is confusing.

Melissa said...

Where was the comment? Was it here? In the cesspool of SFGate comments? I'm so proud of you for owning this vulnerability.

But I still want to cut a bitch.

Spots said...

They posted it here and you know how I freak out about that shit. It's like someone breaking into your house.
So I took my fucking house back...

DJTennessee said...

I have remarked repeatedly and without reservations that I would completely hit it.

Which is the highest compliment I am capable of giving a woman!

Be_Devine said...

Like everything else about you, your honesty about your vulnerabilities is awe-inspiring. We all have them, but most of us never talk about them, instead choosing to let them fester and haunt us.

Yet another reason why I'll be begging to get front row tickets to your sold-out shows.

JC said...

F**k 'em! I don't know you from a hole in the wall but have been "lurking" for the past couple of years since I stumbled upon this site during a "golden girls" google search. I for one, find you highly entertaining, so you keep on keeping on girl. Even if I never make it out to San Fran, I feel as if I get a flavour of the place by checking in with you here. ~JC in Ottawa.

Brock said...

your honesty about this, and the way you're writing about it, is just sublime.

that said, i really wish Blogger would give you all IP addresses.

Anonymous said...

unimaginative prick... the troll, not you. you're fabulous.

Tim said...

Like I said to earlier. This person is most likely an underwear model with multiple PhDs, who in his very little spare time gives mouth to mouth to baby seals.