Saturday, August 01, 2009

someone's a graphic designer...

Tara and I decided to go on a date last night, agreeing to see Funny People at the Kabuki and then enjoy a late dinner across the street at Dosa on Fillmore
Not terribly complex plans, right?
After the movie, which was 2 and a half hours by the way, we strolled over to Dosa, where a  sign on the door instructed us to touch the handle, then let go. 
"Um, I'm confused by the fact that a door has instructions, much less the instructions themselves."
"Touch it!"
The door slowly swung open and the admittedly stunning and hip space was packed. "Jesus, have you been here before?"
"No, have you?"
"No. Well, I've been to the one on Valencia, back when it was small and filled with people Gavin Newsom hasn't slept with."
That's the best way to describe the crowd last night at Dosa on Fillmore, by the way. Gavin has definitely biblically known 3 or 4 of those bitches and their neck veins and statement accessories. Told it'd be a 40 minute wait, we agreed to use their ladies room and split. We had to push our way past the overflowing bar to the bathroom, and as we entered the tiny space, a woman was delicately washing her hands. Tara and I waited for a free stall as the hand washer pushed the hand dryer button. 
I thought the world was ending. It sounded like a jet was taking off. No joke. We were both thrown against the wall. 
The hand dryer pretended to be unfazed by the tornado she'd created and she didn't have to pretend long. Another Gavin-type squeezed her way in the bathroom and (OMG!) they knew each other. 
When I see a friend unexpectedly in public, I'm just as guilty as these two. I simply reserve the right to judge when other people gasp and hug and emphasize the "are" in the "How are you?"
Tara and I eventually made it into stalls. 
"Beth!"
"What?"
"This is really weird!"
The door, the hand dryer, the crowd...I think we just thought we'd have some curry across the street from the movie theater and suddenly, we were thrust into a wacky episode of Sex and the City. 
We liked the vibe of Dosa, for sure. We just needed some Manolos and Melissa to really get into it. Tara and I decided instead to brave the front door upon exit and head up the block to SPQR. We were seated immediately and ordered a bunch of small plates, including this amazing corn fritter thing covered in honey. If I may throw you a hot tip, SPQR is one of those joints that's good for a date and good for taking your folks. It's right up my mother's alley. 
Anyway, Tara and I dove into our food and our conversation. Jobs and friends and men later, we were winding down when Tara looked across me and whispered, "You listening to this?"
A woman at the table next to us was sending back her wine because she apparently didn't mean to order it. She'd already had 5 drinks elsewhere, you see, and there must be some kind of horrible, angry confusion because she did not want this wine and she did not want to pay for it."
Her date was in the men's room, and according to Tara, he was most certainly throwing up all over the place. 
Drunk lady was really laying into the server, a perfectly lovely supermodel who brought me a fancy Diet Coke made out of green tea, and constantly calling someone over to discuss the non-issue of the wine. This is a small restaurant and while we're nosey people to begin with, it was impossible for us not to hear every word. 
"This is all so odd!"
We paid our bill and walked back to our cars. It was nearly midnight by the time I got home, chuckling to myself and texting Tara about touching and then letting go. I parked a block away from my flat and making my way down my block, spotted the following 3 doors down:

7 comments:

HappyRachael said...

Since I am in no way cool enough to be your friend, I make do by keeping up with you through your blog and on twitter. You continue to make my day! Thank you Beth Spotswood!

Spots said...

Anyone who thinks they are not cool is obviously very cool and vice versa. Welcome, Rachel. We'll be in Dolores Park tonight so come hang out!

Natalie said...

I love it when people use the word shenanigans. Stay warm in the park tonight!

kwk said...

Wow, that neighborhood has sure come a long way: Littering! Dog Poop! Shenanigans!
Back when Jane and Marty bought half of a two unit place along with a building contractor friend, one of those over/under Victorians with ground level garage and steep entry steps, he assured them that doing the work themselves they could get it up to code.
It was all they could afford and if he had been wrong they would have owned a condemned building about to become a vacant lot.
Women would change diapers on the entry steps during the day and leave the soiled ones. At night junkies would shoot up and nod out to be there when they got home. The syringes would be laying on the stairs in the morning when they left for work.
A guy across the street was jailed for killing hookers with a hammer.
Jane said after hearing a woman scream "Rape! Help Me! Rape!" at 3AM enough times she realized it was just the way prostitutes scared off the crack heads. She might respond if someone was screaming her name, "Jane Help Me Please!".
Jesus, what has the Mission come to: Littering! Dog Poop! Shenanigans!

Anonymous said...

I don't know what is up with these hand dryers lately. I was at a place recently where someone was using it and it was so loud I had to cover my ears and got out of there as quickly as possible.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry I missed this! What a weird night...

Big Jer said...

PUPU de PERROS!!
HILARIOUS!!!