Earthquake, terrorist attack, assassination...something's about to happen in seconds.
Because CNN.com is tempting fate with the HEADLINE, "Peanut-free night lets allergic kids enjoy game."
El Presidente of Costa Rica has swine flu, they pulled 2 bodies out of the Hudson, a 9 year old was raped, "scores" died in a Taiwanese storm and a woman threw a cup at the Mona Lisa.
But the most important thing CNN needs us to know is that it's gets-picked-last night at the ballpark.
As far as I'm concerned, this is the biggest jinx in the world. Aren't we at war? Isn't everyone getting fired? Shouldn't CNN send someone to like, North Korea and tell us what's up? No, no, no. Because Kyle who's allergic to peanuts has some shit to say.
I'm all for these poor, sad handicapped people who'll die if they're in the same room as a nut getting to enjoy a normally nut-packed American pastime. What do I care! Let 'em go to the circus next!
I'm merely suggesting that perhaps by choosing "Peanut-free night lets allergic kids enjoy game" as tonight's HEADLINE, CNN is begging the universe to put a dramatic, tragic end to the official definition of slow news day...