Tuesday, July 21, 2009

you float, i float, right...

Some joint called Film Drunk announced the "Worst Movie Ending Ever" and I'll admit, their selection is an impressive doozy. But of all the dramatically disappointing film endings, the one that stands out as the most personally jarring is, sadly, Jack Dawson's death in Titanic.
I'm a pretty dreadfully selfish person, but let the guy on the floating door! My GOD. I don't know that I'd make my worst enemy clutch to my glorious lifesaving raft while I basked in the moonlight, much less the love of my life. And while, I'll say it, I love Titanic, I will always hate Rose. Not just because she let Jack die, which is obviously murder in my book, but because she kept saying "Jack" like she was worried he wouldn't know she was speaking to him. "I'm flying....Jack!"
Yeah, we got it, Rose.
It always seemed to me like Rose was 37 years old and Jack was this charming 17 year old badass who tossed lighters around with suave style of the streets. I realize this makes me seem like one of those crazy people who invent Titanic fan fiction, and quite frankly, I don't really care. I saw Titanic 8 (yes, eight) times in the theater, after the first of which I was speechless for 45 minutes. The whole car ride home, I just stared at buildings in silence and thought, "That. That building was built after she sank."
I find it a great injustice that no one ever really talks about the fact that our "heroine" is a murderous, advantageous vixen who should've jumped in the first place. Hello? Rose killed Jack.
Whatever. I always like Cal the best anyway...


JFBF said...

I always laughed at how she says over and over "never let go... never let go..." but what she meant is "never let go... until I see a raft coming to save me and I need to pry your cold, dead hand off of mine, so I can wave and whistle while you sink... at that point, please let go."

Anonymous said...

You like Cal? What a creep he was. Although...he reminds me of another man you like, so maybe you're being serious and that's your type?? I like the dude from Alias who designed the ship, although I think he could have designed it better.

Big Jer! said...

How DARE you not know the FABULOUS Victor Garber!?
Yeah, I was cheering for Cal too. That money! THOSE eyes!!

And WHY NOT take turns on the ONLY floatable piece of wood surrounding them?? SHARE!