I was racing home from work last night to meet Tim the Trainer, driving in accordance with the law and minding my own beeswax. Suddenly my mother called and well aware that she had just received a tour of my brother's offices, I gave a big middle finger to the rules and answered my phone.
Our conversation lasted 5 minutes and not that it makes a difference, but I was mere blocks from my front door. A gentleman on a motorcycle pulled up next to me. I glanced in his direction and noting that he was NOT a member of the San Francisco Police Department, I continued to hear about my mother's adventure.
All of a sudden, Mr. Motorcycle starts motioning at me, doing some dramatic hand jive and actually trying to tap on my passenger side window. As we were both stopped at a red light, he created a phone shape with his right hand, held it to his ear and then slamed it down.
He was apparently doing a little skit about hanging up, which he repeated 4 or 5 times with great fury and anger.
Was I illegally talking on my cell phone wile driving?
Was this guy a fucking douchebag?
I just stared at him and smiled, chatting away with my mother and formulating excuses why I'd be on the phone. Someone died, perhaps. Or maybe I'm getting biopsy results.
He looked like his head might explode, this citizen was so livid with me and my disregard for civilized law and order. He eventually sped off, his little twist and turn around a corner somehow implying he was going to go tell on me.
I relayed the vigilante experience to my mother, still holding my cell phone to my ear while operating a vehicle.
"Oh!" She said. "Do you have to go?"
"No, I most certainly do not. If that guy wants to be a cop so bad, he should join the force."
"Where are you?" She asked.
Needless to say, I was in the Mission. It must be exhausting for Motorcycle Citizen to put-put around all day, watching people eat meat and toss cigarettes and not vote and talk on their cell phones while driving their gas-guzling, Earth-hating cars. He must go home, sit on his plastic crate and extinguish clove cigarettes on his arms in frustration.
So again, was I breaking a law and theorhetically putting people's lives in danger?
Should I have run this guy over?