Thursday, July 23, 2009

a perfectly reasonable explanation...

No matter how I leave this Earth, I hope the newspaper reports of my untimely demise say I died helping a little old lady across the street or saving a drowning toddler from a residential swimming pool.
I think we can all agree that accidental death while trying to engage in solo untoward sexy times is the most embarrassing way to go. Which is why my heart breaks for the poor 16 year old kid that died from combining erectile dysfunction medication with a couple of cocktails. The article goes on and on about how unusual it would be for a 16 year old to "need" Viagra, et al. They interview cops, addiction counselors, his parents...none of them can figure out why this kid was taking penis pills.
It must have been a mistake! Someone slipped him a mickey!
Hello? He's 16 years old! He was fucking around! Am I the only one that befriends the incredibly immature and thus know people who've taken Viagra just to "see what happens"? Do we all not recall the great Ben Affleck revealing to Playboy Magazine that he took penis pills just for the hell of it and it "almost gave (him) a heart attack"? Because that's the first thing I thought of when reading this tragic tale; an article from 1999.
Old news, folks. Old news.
Anyway, leave the kid alone. He was goofing around with medication for old dudes and wanted to see if anything weird would happen to his wiener. Personally, if I was a man, I'd be fascinated by myself at all times, performing all kinds of experiments and maneuvers. That junk is strange!
Mystery solved...

5 comments:

Cali said...

Some of my son's friends experimented with Viagra when they were teenagers. They did exactly the same thing as this poor, unfortunate kid, I'm sure. This is just a sad, sad thing.

Karyn said...

I'll admit it... hubby and I experiemented with it once... just to see "what would happen"... he didn't drink, though. I think a LOT of people do this... just like you said.

sfmike said...

I love the whole genre of embarrassing deaths, which range from James Fixx the Running doctor dying young of a heart attack, Euell Gibbons the health food expert dying of stomach cancer, and Sonny Bono skiing stoned on Vicodins into a tree.

And thank you for explaining that Unexplained Mystery.

Anonymous said...

Beth we NEED your take on this salacious local news http://www.insidebayarea.com/sanmateocountytimes/localnews/ci_12715731

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