No wonder Gavin's all over the state, hanging out down south where people actually appreciate him. Do we blow this kind of sunshine up his ass? Do any of our journalists ask him about Dancing with the Stars? Does anyone here over the age of 9 ask for his autograph?
And it's a goddamn crime.
Do you think Gavin just swung by Mr. Chow to get a shot at what my father calls, the papitazi? Is this like that scene in Soapdish where daytime star Sally Field feels unappreciated so she goes to the mall to get recognized? Because I'm right there with you, Gavin! Why, I was just saying to Melissa as I wore my new sunglasses on the escalator inside Bloomingdale's, "I'm in the mood to sign autographs!"
So, enough with all the complaining about Gavin on the Go. Obviously, we need to be proactive about this problem and give the guy what he wants. I don't know where we should set up shop, but I'm thinking Balboa or Tosca, because I heard he no longer used the bar of La Barca as an office. We get cameras, ones with lots of flashes, and insincere interviewers to ask patronizing, bombarding questions, pseudo-blocking him as he ties to get to his ride. He'll love it! Hell, who wouldn't?
My only issue with the above is, enough already with the policy! Save it for the print media. We want to know what you think about Heidi and Spencer! Are you currently involved in a Bromance with anyone? And why have you not issued a public statement about the tragic passing of pop icon and American treasure, Michael Jackson?
Let's not force our Mayor out of town because we're too polite in leaving him alone. Let's be all up in his shit like they rock it at Mr. Chow. I know I'm in. And before you judge our future Governor for getting his eggrolls someplace Lohan-esque, check out this video I found of Jerry Brown. Um, other than the obvious height issue, am I wrong is finding him slightly attractive, in a Ricky Nelson/Sonny Bono/quaaludes and disco kind of way...