Monday, June 22, 2009

i feel like joel's going to take this the hardest...

Tonight, Jon and Kate are making an announcement.
This is separation, right? Divorce? Do we get to watch them tell the kids? No one seems too broken up about this news, most likely because the country has pretty much decided Kate is the devil. This is sad for the kids and all, but at least they can go to Dad’s house when Mom’s on one of her rampages.
My distaste for Kate Gosselin grew tenfold on Friday night, or I guess technically Saturday morning, when Mel and I were watching Oprah at 3am. The episode was all about “Hero Dads” and this one dad was the father of 9 children, 7 of whom were adopted from Guatemala and several of whom were special needs kids, including one baby with an incorrectly set broken arm. He wakes up at 3:30 every morning, works full time as an attorney, lost his wife to cancer when their oldest was 2 and decided to build and raise a huge family by himself.
Kate Gosselin can suck it.
But then, Jon Gosselin went and got a diamond earring stud, so I pretty much hate them both. You’d think one of them might be able to handle tabloid, reality show fame with the tiniest smidge of grace under pressure.
Nope. They’re all gaudy sunglasses and screaming at the nanny while the rest of us are watching the widower on Oprah with his sweet, humble, grateful, affectionate kids. And Mel and I kept screaming at the TV, “Give him something, Oprah! Where’s the house? The free car? Send ‘em on a cruise!”
But I think Oprah’s stopped handing out flatscreens to kindergarten teachers because assholes like Kate Gosselin have ruined materialism for everyone…

8 comments:

Fredo said...

"But I think Oprah’s stopped handing out flatscreens to kindergarten teachers because assholes like Kate Gosselin have ruined materialism for everyone…"

Every time I think I'm going to quit you, you write something like that. And then I'm hooked again.

Spots said...

My ploy worked!

Greg said...

I just got cable again, magically, and haven't watched Bravo or TLC in ages, and it's like watching a series of rhinestone-studded trainwrecks, 24/7.

Naturally I just HAD to watch the finale of the New Jersey housewives show. I mean, there were tables flying and everything.

Brock said...

Kate Gosselin is a horrible human being. She should be arrested for abuse and exploitation.

Cali said...

Has Kate gotten a little full of herself? Yeah. Is her haircut a train wreck on fire? Hell yeah. But she was a shrieking control freak with bad hair even in their honeymoon videos. That's just who she is and Jon married her knowing that's who she was. Is Kate enjoying the money and the freebies? Again, hell yeah! But who among us wouldn't? I mean, really. Jon is the one who has really changed, IMO. He's the one who's "gone Hollywood." He's the one who promised to always be faithful to Kate, and not just the first time, but again less than a year ago when they renewed their vows in Hawaii. A few months later and Kate's still the controlling shrew she always was while Jon was off screwing a bar slut and bitching to anyone who would listen about his lack of privacy and the horrible paparazzi. And now? They have filed for divorce. There are now eight kids with two single parents rather than a cohesive family unit and all because Jon couldn't man up, keep his equipment in his pants and tell Kate to shut the hell up and quit picking on him.

P.S. Brock, don't be stupid. Kate does not abuse the kids.

Generic said...

I feel like Joel may be developmentally disabled.

Brock said...

Cali, Kate is an abusive, illogical whore. Literally.

Jon was well within reason to try getting the hell away from her by any means necessary.

Generic said...

She does slap him around quite a bit, doesn't she?

To paraphrase the great Ralphie Cifaretto, "A, she hit me, B, she was a hoor."