Did the Grim Reaper just have it out for her? What if she's the reason the plane crashed in the first place, some hellish, gloved finger pointing at her to die. Then she misses the flight, killing all of the innocents on board for no good reason. So Beelzebub or God or whomever is like, Damn it! She's keeps getting away! Not today!
Swerve, scream, crash.
I don't mean to make light of this tragedy, I really don't. I'm just wondering what freakish coincidence is next? They do find one body floating around the Atlantic alive, but it's Natalee Holloway?
Also on our docket for today is the Don of Chinatown. I don't want to be sleeping with the sweet and sour shrimp, but check out this dude's outfit. Apparently, Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow, after spending 25 years in what Mel calls "the pokey" is now in charge of the Chinatown Night Market.
We're all thinking the same thing, aren't we?
Anyway, I guess Shrimp Boy's been strong-arming the competition. While this issue is certainly pressing, I have some questions about this night market: Are there knock-offs? Like mainland knock-offs? What kind of North Fake are we talking? Tiffany? Bvlgari? Seriously, I need a new ostentatious Gucci belt buckle. Because if Shrimp Boy can get me faux Marc Jacobs luggage for under $40 (apres haggling), I really don't care if he's the slightest bit shady or wears dramatic yellow gold man-jewelry.
Finally, I can't remember if I'd mentioned this or not: I'm obsessed with Reggie Love. For those of you living in the normal, non-political people world, he's the real life Charlie. (Right now, a bunch of me's are going, "Ohhhhhh.") I think it's fantastic that the Obama Administration has basically re-cast The West Wing for...The West Wing. I watched that NBC special about the White House and other than spending the whole time swooning over Reggie, I realized that I love Rahm Emmanuel. Rumor has it, Rahm was the inspiration for Josh Lyman, and we all know Josh Lyman is the greatest West Wing "character" ever. Okay, well Josh and C.J.. Oh, and Lord John Marbury!
Anyway, where's Rahm been all my life? Am I that out of it? This guy was in Congress? Apparently, he's a foul-mouthed hardass, which only makes me love him more. And what a great name, Rahm. Don't you just want to sigh, "Rahm."
As in, "Rahm, oh Rahm. Take me to the Chinatown night market."