Monday, March 30, 2009

very realistic, very affordable, very gross...

In my many worldy travels, I really thought I had seen it all. The Great wall of China, the Great Barrier Reef, Great America...I simply could no longer be wowed.
And then I went to Reno. 
Please look closely. No, these aren't wacky, hillbilly teeth. This isn't the Halloween bargain bin at Wallgreens. This isn't even a joke. This is actual dental work for $12.95. 
Why save "hundreds" and travel abroad for inexpensive bridgework when you can head to Reno for this "instant make-over." And you can't really read it, but according to the packaging, over 12 million of these masterpieces have been sold over the last decade. 12 million people are walking around with a $13 piece of plastic in their mouth. You know they eat with this thing. Just imagine, folks, what could be trapped between the plastic and the decaying teeth and gums it masks. 
I wonder who suffers the embarrassment and and discomfort of a jacked grill to suddenly find the solution to their oral woe in the souvenir shop across the road from the El Dorado in Reno, Nevada? 
"Hey, Travis! Come over here for a second! I think I may have found just the thing you've been searching for? No, not a penis flashlight. Put that down..."

2 comments:

Be_Devine said...

I hope you bought a set of these for our mutual friend who very much needs them.

Seana said...

These have to be replacements for all the old folks sitting at the slots who leave their teeth in a jar and can't find them again, right?