Tuesday, March 17, 2009

jeff bridges used to be cute...

Every night, I wake up between 1 and 3 totally freaked out for no reason. I suspect that back when I was a drunk, I just slept through my body clock's stupid alarms. Alas, no longer. It's no big deal, though. All I have to do is get out of bed, walk around, check for serial killers and go back to bed. Then I sleep like a baby. 
I've taken to hopping online for a few minutes and last night, I got sucked into watching the entirety of Jagged Edge on Netflix. I remember my mother being very into this movie when it came out and I was 7. Obviously, I was not allowed to watch it and based on my enjoyment of Fatal Attraction and The Game, Netflix thought I'd be into this thriller now that I'm a grown-up. 
Eh. It was okay. I liked how loads of the filming took place at City Hall. San Francisco locations are always fun, even when it's wildly inaccurate. The murder was supposed to go down at a "Baker Beach" weekend home. I guess a lot has changed since 1985 because apparently, Baker Beach looked like Malibu. 
In one scene, Jeff Bridges gets very teary and emotional when he has to go back to scene of the murder. I texted my brother, Mel and Hastings to see if they'd be able to visit the site of my tragic death. Mel and Hastings said it depended, Melissa not willing to give up any locale deemed "hella cool." My brother, Alex would have no problem going anywhere. My bloodstains could still be splattered on the walls. Alex goes where he wants. 
"Really?" I asked. "You could casually lounge around some joint where your beloved only sibling perished?"
"For closure." He responded. "And to investigate."
Awww. That's my baby bro. 
Basically, in Jagged Edge, this ratzy-tatzy newspaper heiress is brutally murdered and her husband, Jeff Bridges is put on trial. Glenn Close plays the decided un-sexy defense attorney and Peter Coyote is the corrupt San Francisco District Attorney. 
Maybe I just never really put it together on Law & Order or maybe it's all hitting home because Jagged Edge takes place a stone's throw from me, like right now, but would real-life DA Kamala Harris personally prosecute a murder? Because Coyote is wandering around the crime scene, interrogating suspects, hiding secret evidence and trying the case himself. I can't picture Ms. Escada objecting to some drive-by witness' bullshit testimony. 
And does Dennis Herrera get any of this action? He said I could call anytime with questions. I wonder if this counts?
I decided to consult this blog's legal team (my dad and Mel), both of whom had the same answer. 
This comes from Melissa: "Kamala does not go to court - she's more of an administrator. Here in SF, attorneys in the her office's homicide unit prosecute murders. Remember that in Law and Order, Fred Thompson plays the District Attorney and he NEVER goes to court.
I've never seen whatever movie you're referring to, but it isn't unheard of for small towns to have the DA actually go to court. Herrera wouldn't do it because he only deals with civil cases (meaning those cases that aren't criminal) like slip-and-fall, civil rights, and stuff, nothing gross."
I called the DA's office to find out 1) if Kamala has ever tried a case as DA and 2) any history on the last case ever tried by the actual District Attorney of San Francisco. 
In my 5 years of blogging, it's amazing the random people I'll call just to find out information for my own personal sad and pathetic uses. I have a blog! Tell me shit!
Anyway, good luck getting around KA-mala's complex, 3-languaged voicemail at 8pm on a Tuesday. Jesus! Welfare fraud, elder abuse, missing children? I wanna talk to all of these people (in English)! What a goddamn interesting office! 
I couldn't even figure out how to leave a message so if any historian wants to hook me up with this nerdy info, I'm all over it... 


Anonymous said...

I remember seeing that movie 20 years ago and loving it. I can still remember my favorite line from the movie, Peter Coyote yelling "He's an iiiice man!"

sfmike said...

You ARE a journalist.

And I can't believe a brilliant San Francisco cultural completist like yourself is just getting around to "Jagged Edge." It's Bronstein and Sharon Stone before it even happened in real life.

tangobaby said...

This is such an awesome post. I'm so sleepy today and this is the only thing that's made me wake up and also laugh.


Jim said...

History: The prior DA, Terrence Hallinan, personally tried at least one manslaughter case in 1996:


Apparently, this hadn't occurred in SF for at least a half century.

Equal time for the landlord lovers:

Spots said...

Hey thanks, guys! It was fun to write.
And Jim with my answer. Awesome...

Anonymous said...

The typewriter in the film was the same one Eszterhas used to type the screenplay. T.P.