While waiting for the third season of Mad Men, here is what I'm watching:
The Office: Duh. I have to admit, now that Pam and Jim are all boring and engaged, much of the thrill is gone for me and my Phyllis coffee mug (oh, yes.) but I've got to admit, this being able to watch pretty much anything online is awesome. Not that I have a life. I'm just forgetful. I'm all about Andy Bernard. Ever heard of him?
30 Rock: Again, on the obvious. Again, online. That Alec Baldwin, voicemail and all. And Kenneth the Page is my future husband, hand to God.
Friday Night Lights: Dude, don't even watch it. You'll just get mad at me and it's going downhill anyway. How does a guy in a wheelchair have a kid? Coach Taylor's turned into Michael Landon on Highway to Heaven. He needs to stop going door to door fixing everyone's lives with his inspirational football analogies. And don't get me started on Tammy. Season 1, she's the coach's wife. Season 3, she's the high school principal? Jesus Christ. But I've committed myself and I really like the theme song. Plus Landry just tried to hit on a lesbian.
Real Housewives: Um, hell yes. This is the greatest show on Bravo right now. We're currently on New York, but I love 'em all. By far and away, The Countess is my favorite. I can't really imagine any other nobility types going around insisting that cab drivers call them Countess. I love you, Luann! Oh shit, I mean Countess. I'm on Team Jill and like everyone else alive, Simon and Alex give me the creeps. Why is Ramona still even on the show? I suspect Bethenny practices her admittedly hilarious commentary beforehand and what's with the new chick who a) is not that hot and b) stands around saying nothing. Give me a NeNe from Atlanta any day of the week. I know Anderson's with me! This is one of my few shows not available online. Bravo's only concession is that they re-run this crap every 13 seconds.
17 and Counting: Say what you will, but this show on The Learning Channel about the Bible-thumping Duggar Family is pure heaven, especially when you figure out that little Jedidiah is OBVIOUSLY gay. Or is it Jeremiah? Anyway, they make their own clothes, don't believe in "individualism" and talk about Jesus all the time like it's normal. Weirdos!
Freshman Year: These are actually little 10-13 minute shows on CNN.com where 2 Freshman Congressmen are given little video cameras and we follow them around as they learn the ropes. Jared is a gay Democrat internet millionaire from Colorado and Jason is a married Republican skin cream salesman from Utah who sleeps on a cot in his DC office to save the taxpayers money. You. Will. Thank. Me.
The Amazing Race 14: Oh good God in heaven, the Amazing Race is so goddamn good. You should all say a prayer that my brother and I get on the Amazing Race 15 because we truly, truly deserve to be. It would just mean way too much to me. This season, Mike White and his father Mel are a team, and needless to say, my favorites. Mike White, you may recall, wrote and appeared in School of Rock and his father Mel is a gay evangelical preacher. Hello? Could this be more fabulous? No. Plus, they're pretty much the cutest team ever. Mel is so earnest with his poor groin injury and Mike is so patient and bisexual. Thus far, the highlight for me as been Mel praying for wind and God's answer. Also, I'm loving Margie and Luke, the mother/gay deaf son team who "speak their own language." Please see Eve and Tim for impression of Luke arriving at the end of each leg. Am I the only one thrilled to see Victor crying? What a douche. Also, I could not have pulled off those leotards, although I thought they were incredibly cute, were they not?
Finally, and you can watch this on Comcast on Demand or Hulu, Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay. I usually end up watching 54 episodes in a row, it's so fun to see both behind the scenes restaurant shit and Gordon screaming and yelling at everyone in his hot accent/chef outfit.
Obviously, since I'm not super-glued to a barstool anymore, I've got some more time on my hands. I'm also up in the middle of the night, so all of this internet programming keeps me highly entertained. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I do, mainly so I have someone to discuss it with.
Oh! And in other disturbing news, I have a new creepy true crime for you we'll be discussing soon. Lock your doors and turn on your televisions...