Saturday, February 07, 2009

yeah, but does everyone have the license plate, "so cool"...

When Mel and I went to see Stand By Me at the Castro last month, we were thrilled to find out that the next Midnite for Maniacs for include Adventures in Babysitting and Goonies
"Oh, we're going to that shit!"
Which is exactly what we did last night. I got in line early, loitering with my fellow geeks in front of the Castro for a good hour until Hastings showed up. "Where's Mel?"
Melissa was lost, thus putting her in no mood. Every once in awhile, I remember that she's from Georgia, although I still refuse to buy that as an excuse for anything. Anyway, snacks in hand, the three of us settled in for the movie in fabulous seats, and as Mel went outside to conduct some sort of radio interview, Hastings revealed, "You know, I've never seen this movie."
"I've never even been to this theater."
Folks, there's something wrong with you if you've never seen a movie at the Castro. My grandfather, the late, great Bob Spotswood had a list he kept of things one simply HAD to do to consider themselves a San Franciscan. And I'm carrying that torch. If you live within 100 miles and you've never been to the Castro, you might as well be in Georgia. Just click HERE, pick a movie, and get off your ass. You'll thank me. 
Anyway, I crowd was as hyped as I was, some people actually arriving in costume. There was one guy who, hand to God, was so screwy, I couldn't tell if he was dressed as Sloth or that's just the way he looks. After a series of glorious previews from 1987, the movie started and Mel and I joined the crowd in thunderous applause as Hastings appeared un-enthused, retreating to the distracting safety of his blackberry throughout the masterpiece that is Adventures in Babysitting. 
Some movies, like Braveheart and Top Gun are obviously something that you'd want to see in a theater, but Adventures in Babysitting? Turns out, it's even better. I don't know how Elisabeth Shue got her hair like that or what made George Newbern so cute in his little Jeep Wrangler, but it all just works. 
Christ, Josh Lyman plays the evil boyfriend. Fabulous!
Anyway, the movie ended to hysteria and I headed outside to smoke.
Which is when I noticed that the line for people just coming to see Goonies was wrapped around the city. You know, I love Goonies. The word "love" doesn't even capture my feelings for Martha Plimpton's performance alone. But I kinda regarded those with a 90 minute 80's movie attention span as chumps. People, you just missed Adventures in Babysitting. 
Our second, apparently more popular movie was just as good as the first and we were joined by Tar Baby and her friend, Tim. The only downside, other than my Hot Tamale crash was the waste of homosexuality seated behind us. Just because you're gay, doesn't automatically make you sassy and clever. It certainly helps, but there are no guarantees, as evidenced by the tight t-shirt, thirty-something queens aspiring to Kathy Griffin in row R. 
Repeating Chunk's quotes with queeny loud confidence is not funny or clever or most important, tolerable. And interestingly, the remainder of the hipster/gay -filled theater was watching Goonies with silent respect, screaming out only the most famous lines with glorious perfection. Leave it to me to sit in front of Bobby Trendy after a Red Bull... 


Anonymous said...

The Castro Theatre is a must in San Francisco, no doubt.
When you visit the Hostess City of the Coastal Empire....known as Savannah, I can assure you that you won't see Bubba and Bo drinking Bud; but instead beautiful old homes, historic squares, oak trees dripping with spanish moss and wonderfully quirky people.
Uncle Bill (and nephew Blake)

Clair said...

My entire life for a decade was defined by the subway scene. Great movie.

Anonymous said...

The Goonies made me who I am today.

Sweet Melissa said...

If I had one drink in me, I would have killed the bitches behind us. I also believe no jury would convict.

Andy! You Goonie!!

Anonymous said...

Wait, wait...Blackberry during a movie? Oh, "hissssssssss..."

Joe Vazquez said...

"Don't nobody leave without singing the blues."

The gangster chase scene is my favorite. Plus, my wife resembles Elizabeth Shue. . .

Great seeing you last night! Thanks to the entire group for comin by!

Dwight said...

I realize your comment about Georgia and the link to the picture was a joke. That said, i live in Atlanta which is one of the most gay friendly cities in the country. I haven't traveled to every state in the union, but my travels have taught me that one is just as likely to run into Bubba and Raymond from your pic in rural New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, or California (maybe even more so California), as Georgia or any other state for that matter. They're freakin' everywhere.