L’Italiana sent me an e-mail claiming to have an extra ticket to some awards dinner at the Ritz tonight and invited me to join her.
Hmmm, dinner with mucky mucks at The Ritz for free? “Oh, come on.” Her e-mail messages begged. “It’ll be fun.”
You had me at Ritz, Mama Celeste.
I’d e-mailed Vansmack earlier. “You goin’ to this thing at the Ritz?”
“Yes.” He’d replied. “I’m supposed to be ushering Gavin around.”
Oh, now I’m really in. I have no life, folks. I’m always up to be someone’s last minute date. There’s little that doesn’t beat leftovers on my couch.
I raced home from work and threw on a skirt and blazer, hopping in a cab and meeting my friends in the ballroom. Quickly becoming pals with our tablemates, we lamented an unfortunate comb-over a few tables away. As I begrudgingly turned away all the free wine I was offered, two hands rubbed my shoulders from behind.
Nope, it was Mr. X! Oh, thank God. I’d been convinced I wouldn’t know a soul and here I was with my crew and free steak. Horray! Huzzah! Ain’t life grand?
Willie Brown was the Master of Ceremonies and introduced Gavin, who gave a very normal, non-controversial speech and split. As Willie returned to the stage, he quipped, “If you’d like to hear the rest of that speech, you can find it on the internet.”
He was met with a round of applause, mainly because everyone was so delighted to hear an actual funny at one of these things. “That was pretty good.” We mused. “Nice work, Willie.”
I’ve got to say, Da Mayor always delivers. I fully accept that he’s our little provincial village’s “fun uncle,” but God bless him, the man’s a charmer. And I regard charm a quality above all else. Shit, Willie makes Gavin look downright uptight.
We ditched after dessert, I’m home at a reasonable hour and “Help! I’m a Hoarder” is on. All in all, tonight was a raging success…