Monday, February 23, 2009

i guess alaska wasn't invited...

Apparently, the Obamas hosted some kind of Oscar Party last night. It looks like just about every governor was there, and while our eyes were glued to Hollywood, there were some serious fashion don'ts strutting through the White House. I guess there's a law against political wives hiring stylists, because these ladies need to crack open a Vogue. Christ, I'd settle for a Lands End catalog, these Mrs. are such MISSES! (Oh. Oh, I really hate myself for that.)Thank God he's blind. As Melissa would say, "It's called Spanx."
This dress retails for $198. How do I know? Um, I've seen it 462 times at Nordstrom and always wondered who's mom would buy it. Now we know. Thank you South Dakota.
Oh, and I'll tell you why she bought it, although it requires an embarassing confession on my part. I tried it on (in black, at least, out of last minute desperation) and discovered it runs huge. So if you're a size 12 in real life, you're an 8 in this dress. Sold!
Leave it to Utah. Her shoes remind me of Triumph the Insult Dog.
Virgina, folks. Like you had to guess.
I was a huge loser in high school. Like painful, horrible, freak show. It's people like this that made me feel slightly better about myself. Although she's married to the Governor of Virginia and I'm...Fucked.
She made this, didn't she? It was part of some Colorado State creativity contest for unemployed women and of course, the Governor's wife had to painfully participate. Is it made out of posterboard and glitter? And who'd she use for a fit model? Her husband?

In the great words of Montell Jordan, this is how we do it...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it looks awful up close, but I think she's kind of pulling off that pink-ish pleated gown. Also, priced for the proletariat! She's down with the lower orders!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant

Anonymous said...

Unrelated, but uh oh. http://sf.eater.com/archives/2009/02/23/last_call_for_the_tonga_room.php

Seana said...

Wait, what's Spanx?

Brett said...

This is why I miss the prorun decons.

Generic said...

I keep having to remind myself that the Obamas are not in any way tied to San Francisco.