Tuesday, January 20, 2009

yo yo ma in 2016...

Is it just me or does everyone want to have sex with Barack Obama right now?
I headed into Marin early and watched the inauguation with a bunch of rich yuppies who went balistic every time our President talked about poor people. I wasn't expecting the pakced house at the gratris CSPAN viewing at the 142 Throckmorton Theatre, run by the super cool Lucy Mercer. Her gorgeous theater will filled with those who feel the need to sport athletic performance apparel to drink a latte and nod "Hmmmmm" each time the man made a point. I stood crowded in the back with a gentleman I know from a childhood attending the local church and kept getting bumped by some short chick.
A now, a word to short Americans. It sucks being a tall person, much less 5'10" when you're in sixth grade. You people verbally complain when my 6'5" brother sits in front of you in movie theaters and have some how arranged the 'regular' length demin at the Gap too short for me. We talls always get shoved to the back in group photos and it's apparently our job to help you freaks get your baggage from the overhead bins. One of the few perks of our height in getting to see shit over your little, tiny heads so don't go bumping me like the wall on my other side will somehow give way allowing both of us some kind of comfort in standing in this sardine can. I got here first, short stack. Back off.
Okay, I've spoken my peace. I only wish I could've done it in Aretha's hat, which incidentally, sent that theater of pure bred dog owners into one of those "Oh, those black ladies and their hats" applause...

8 comments:

Karyn said...

I never knew the plight of the tall person until I met Paul (who is 6'4"). He can't ride on roller coasters, he can't order clothes off the rack, and he can't sit on an airplane w/out his knees being under his chin. Just getting in and out of a car is hard for him... but I'm a "shortie". He comments everytime I leave the car seat up that a midget must have stolen our car.

LB said...

Shout out to the tall people. Especially the tall ladies, because every 6'4 guy seems to be already taken.

Be_Devine said...

When growing up I was taunted (among many, many other things) with the line "waiting for a flood." I couldn't get pants that were long enough, so all my jeans stopped about mid-calf.

I'm glad we finally have a President who understands my struggle and will not stop working until all schoolchildren can exercise their inalienable right to 24 x 38 jeans.

Seana said...

@Be_devine 24x38? Wow.
Spots, this was a great one.

Christin said...

Forget the Gap, I buy my pants for tall people from...wait for it, the Victoria's Secret Catalog. Super cheap (ok, and cheaply made but so is the Gap these days) and they have a million different sizes.

Anonymous said...

Bush st was temporarily changed to Obama today. Low brow kids operating at the dead of night and smacking stickers all the way from pac heights to fidi. too bad DPW started taking them down.. woot

l'italiana said...

Spots...sorry, but us vertically challenged come in handy to you tall stuff - we easily find the lost lids in the back of the lower kitchen cabinet...we are great at finding lost items on the ground...and we see the gum stuck under the desk...What would you do without us? So give us a break cuz it's a rough life down here, too!

Amanda "aka" Itty said...

I feel like this post was directed entirely to me and all my 5 feet 0 inches. How about letting us shorties sit on your shoulders? then we could actually see at concerts, parades, and any other public event. If you would like to apologize you can find me in the petites section at banana republic. oh, and happy early birthday!!!