Thursday, January 22, 2009

wilson's at it again...

Once again, Bill Wilson gets to go where I can't. I guess Quantas held a press conference at SFO and GCN made an appearance. I'd really like to fly somewhere with him, preferably on the Jetty or Google jet, but worse comes to worse, you know I'd snuggle up to Le Mayor in coach. I'd mile high my boy in a heartbeat. Yep, I do that move too. "Oh, heh heh. Yeah, I'm totally listening while I sexilly touch my hair. Let me just arch my back a little and ... awww yeah. You want this so bad."
And for my next trick, I'll bring Steve Irwin back from the dead!"
Oh Sweet Baby Jesus, Yes! The only downside of this awesome seat is that the peons in coach can't see you glancing at your flatscreen over your champagne when they walk by on their way to the horrors of steerage. I'd be standing at the door of the airplane looking at boarding passes and saying, "Oh, 74D? It's way back there. But first, check out where I'll be why you have to pee for 14 hours."
I love this man, I really truly do. But I'm guessing he'd be pressed to find Australia on a map. It's okay. That's part of his sexy, undergrad charm.
You want to know what's awesome? Right here, pal. Right here.
I understand. You found paradise in America. You had a good trade, made a good living, the police protected you and there were courts of law and you didn't need a friend like me. But, now you come to me and you say "Don Corleone, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my home on the day my daughter's to be married and you ask me to do murder for money.
Gavin re-enacting United 93.
"Here! Take her!"
What, too soon? I already bought my ticket to hell a long time ago. Relax...


Jessie said...

You rule. Godfather reference FTW. But I'm surprised you didn't mention that there was a freakin' kangaroo at this press conference! I think those photos are at sfist. I felt sorry for the poor thing.

Karyn said...

OMG! It's so wrong - but SOOOO friggin funny! The Flight 93 made me spit my water out... (and I'm pretty sure my seat in hell is a couple rows back from yours) - in steerage.

Leslie/Miss Havisham said...

Oh thank christ on the cross for this

Bill Wilson said...

The kangaroo's name was Tucker. According to his handler, it was his first event. He got his own album on my website. "Tucker debut as Qantas Kangroo" I tried to get his picture with the Mayor but he wasn't cooperative. (The Mayor not the kangaroo, he said, "You now they kick, Bill.)