Friday, January 16, 2009

what happened to their luggage...

Like the rest of you, I'm all over this airplane landing in the Hudson. I'm loving the dramatic tales of escape from the survivors (aka: everyone) and my absolute favorite is the guy who yelled, "Women and children first!"
Nice work, Jesus.
As a woman, thanks. As a sister and daughter, fuck that shit. If I were on that plane, and don't think I haven't imagined that over and over with glee, I'd shove my brother and father out that emergency exit before some whiny kid or slow-ass old.
I was reminded of my family boarding our flight from Dublin to London last week, where after it was casually announced that passengers with small children could board first, the crowd just started moving for the plane. Not to be outdone, we are Americans after all, my family followed suit. This was British Midland Airways and those fuckers assign the same seat to like, 34 people. Of course, the whole cluster fuck of a line comes to a halt and 150 of us just stood there as an old man with two girls (10 years old if they were a day) starts yelling at my mom and me.
"They're still boarding children!"
He repeated this 4 or 5 times and here's why I love my mom, who raised me with appallingly strict adherence to manners. She just stared right past him, shifting her carry on and rolling her eyes. I was shocked and thrilled. The woman refused to budge, following the general rule of travel: every man for himself.
We finally started to move forward and once out of earshot of the yeller with the tweens, mom and I started making fun of him. We decided our main problem was his passive aggressive way of saying he wanted to cut in line because he had "children." Please. When I was that age, I was responsible for my own luggage, carry on, passport and finances. "Mom, you should totally go up to him and say, 'You're probably still mad about what happened a few minutes ago, but we really feel you went about it in the wrong way. Had you asked directly and politely, we would have let you through.'"
But we didn't. We just pushed our way past anyone blocking us from sitting as soon as humanely possible. This is how people travel now. Screw that women and children nonsense. If you can't move fast enough to board when they call your group or hustle as the plane fills with water, tough.
I don't know about you peg leg, but I can run...

4 comments:

Karyn said...

OMG! it's so wrong - but I'm laughing anyway!

Anonymous said...

Your birthday Evite is AWESOME! It's like a who's who of the Bay Area. Can't wait! Very cool. Happy Birthday!

Spots said...

Fabulous! I'm so glad you're coming. Maybe I'll get contact drunk!
And as it's Mel and my anniversary, we're planning some type of skit or grand entrance, so you know, be on time...

Sweet Melissa said...

The more I know about Joanne, the more I love her.