Tuesday, January 27, 2009

that t-shirt looks sane to me...

I'm hardly a music buff and am generally about 20 years behind everyone else in terms of what I think is fabulous. Christ, last summer was all about "Man in the Mirror" for me and Mel. But on occasion, I get hot on something random, like my current loves of Sam Sparro and Ladyhawke. I listen to this shit all day and much like I do while watching television, wikipedia whatever might cross my mind.
So I wikipedia'd Ladyhawke and was amazed and delighted to discover she has Asperger Syndrome.
Asperger. Asperger. Where'd I hear that lately? Oh yeah. Eve.
Eve and I went to dinner last week at Bar Bambino, apparently for the sole purpose of getting involved in a very long conversation with a middle-aged douchebag who'd had 8 too many beers.
You know how gay people always think everyone is secretly gay and I've now decided that everyone is a drunk? (Oh yeah, I'm always deciding y'all are closet boozehounds or coming to work stoned now that I'm on my sober high horse.) Well Ms. Eve diagnoses anyone and everyone as having Asberger Syndrome.
Drop a name around Eve and she'll bust out, "Seriously, I think he has Asperger's. I'm not kidding."
So I looked it up. Eve might be right. In the blogging world, we hang out with a lot of people who exhibit the following:
Unlike those with autism, people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly, for example by engaging in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions, such as need for privacy or haste to leave.
Oh my God. This is me. This is definitely me. You don't even have to bring up serial killers. I'll just walk up to anyone and delve into my fascination with Albert Fish.
Worse, I will never be nearly as cool as Ladyhawke. So get off this loser site and go check that nutjob out...

10 comments:

Allan said...

And I love how the first time Eve says it to anyone, they think she's saying "ass burgers." Never stops being funny.

Eve said...

I *am* saying "ass burgers." What did you guys think I was saying? I'd never make fun of those afflicted with what is clearly a serious and legit medical issue.

Allan said...

It's all ass down there.

Be_Devine said...

Albert Fish had ass burgers.

Yummy, yummy ass burgers.

Leslie/Miss Havisham said...

There is someone at work that thinks everyone has Asperger's. I just think its really hard to not be crazy drunk or not.

Albert Fish was the one that was inserting those long needles into his pelvis right and then wrote the parents of the child he ate explicit letters of confession? Don't make me pull out my illustrated encyclopedia of serial killers. That's right...ILLUSTRATED.

Stephen & Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephen & Emily said...

Hi Beth- We've been following your blog since the night you were "bitch slapped" at Le Club. We are always entertained by your witty writings and hope you will enjoy reading our blog just as much...Www.citygoers.blogspot.com

All the best,
S&E

Anonymous said...

My nephew has Asperger's. Believe me, when you meet someone with AS, you'll know!

Moonrose2715 said...

I love that you are trying to diagnose yourself with AS. It is true you'll know when you meet someone with it. We'll diagnose you yet. =P

A Panda said...

I think I know all the words to My Delirium now... but I can't complain, it's better than John Mayer's rendition of 'freefallin''