Thursday, January 08, 2009

the real housewives of san francisco...

I've been off of my socialite stalking lately but folks, I'm back on board. Every big city needs a group of dolled up freaks who think they're fabulous and San Francisco's got a ton. The ones that actually ARE fabulous are few and far between, however and deserve some props for owning their shit. I've met several bolded names in the past year and the douchey-ho factor is a high one indeed. My god, the people I've had to give a 'what for' at Le Club alone!
As far as I'm concerned, the fabulous Catherine "C-Big" Bigelow should just have her own TV show so she can keep us all in the loop of who's date-raping who.
Anyway, my most favorite party hopper of late is real estate mogul Joel Goodrich. Seriously, just admire the glory that is Joel.
I've only met him twice, once with my beloved Barbara and Richard who are actually friends with this magical who's who of unicorns and once at a Nob Hill Gazette soiree where he did that thing that said to me, "Oh, hi! I have no idea who you are but isn't everything marvelous!?!?"
Yes, Joel! Yes it is!
Joel makes entrances! Joel barely buttons his tops! Joel probably calls them tops! That, folks, is how you keep the old school, society page dream alive. I'm sick of this loud overcoat atop denim with kitten heels bullshit. Throw on a fur and wash your hair in Evian, goddamnit.
So in honor of Joel, whom seriously, I want to get my nails done with, here's my list of Favorite San Francisco Socialites who you should pay attention to, if only because they care enough to own it:
Shannon Bavaro: Shannon wore a fabulous backless gold dress to fucking cocktails at Le Club when I showed up in Old Navy. I just want to applaud everytime I see her.
Tatiana Sorokko: Because she walks down the street like THIS.
Sonya Somethingcomplicated: She's dating Willie, totally uses the phrase I coined about her and she makes me miss the Cold War.
Joy Bianchi: I tired to leave the geriatrics out but I love this nut. I saw her driving down Lombard in a Mercedes from the beginning of time and I almost crashed into her just so I could tell Brock.
And Joel. Duh...

7 comments:

sfmike said...

Joel gives Roy, Siegfried and Liberace a definite run for their fabulous money, and I can't decide who would be the "butch" one among that quartet, though it certainly wouldn't be Joel.

Be_Devine said...

Why is it that clenched teeth passes for a smile in the society pages? I imagine being a TMJ specialist in PacHeights is very lucrative.

Brock said...

Joy is a national treasure.

Garrett Goldman said...

this is effin' hilarious! great post. i'm no socialite, but i am involved in the real estate world and i had NO fucking idea joel was "joel". wow! i just know him as the guy that always has the back cover of the real estate times to himself...he is so fab! maybe i didn't realize there was an sF socialite scene because i'm so far removed?

debinsf said...

Tatiana, whatev. I walk down the street like that all the time. I just don't get snapped because I'm on Taraval. No justice.

chestery said...

Once again, the SF social scene shows why Peninsulites will forever be bridge-and-tunnel, even though they don't need to take a bridge or tunnel into the city.

While SF has -- as its iconic campy real estate agent celebrity -- Joel Goodrich, all the Peninsula has is Stanley Lo:

http://www.greenbanker.com/who.htm

Unknown said...

Poor Joel. I always wondered who inherited Liberace's wardrobe. Having lived in LA and NY, I must say that real estate agents and retail store managers are NOT celebrities outside of San Francisco...ho, hum...