Friday, December 19, 2008

yeah, but i could spell UPDATED...

My family gathered for dinner together last night for reasons beyond me since we’re all about to spend 2 weeks traveling together. I say we take as much alone time as we can in the remaining hours before departure.
Anyway, after dinner and hanging out in the living room, I made the mistake of asking my parents a question I already knew the answer to. My younger brother Alex has always maintained that other than an unfortunate stint during his difficult puberty, he got the looks and I got the brains. My mother, not disagreeing, always responds, “That makes me feel bad for both of you.”
But that didn’t stop her when I inquired last night, “When Alex and I were both 5, who was cuter?”Without the slightest hesitation, both parents answered, “Alex.”
I may not have been able to complete the entire sentence, they were so confident that my cherub-like, green-eyed, blonde-haired baby brother emerged from a rosebud like an Anne Geddes photo.
I, on the other hand, looked like an androgynous Ellis Island reject, a slingshot emerging from the back pocket of my boys’ department overalls and booming voice demanding more and more attention, attention it seems better spent lavished on the perfect, Aryan, mellow, smiling male heir.
Yeah, this is going to be a great goddamn vacation…

*My mother, gloriously plagued with guilt over this post, found pictures of us both at 5. What the hell happened in photo technology from 1983 to 1988? Mine is clearly a historical relic and Alex's could've been taken yesterday...

10 comments:

Moonrose2715 said...

Don't you know better than to ask questions like that? No matter how they answer, inevitably it screws us up even worse! Add that one to your bill for therapy! =)

Be_Devine said...

Hey, unlike his older sis Alex doesn't have a Facebook fan club with hundreds of members, does he?

Brett said...

I'm pretty sure that adds to his cool factor, not detracts from it.

Holly said...

just because he was cuter then doesn't mean you haven't caught up and surpassed him in the interim.

sfmike said...

Oh, dear. May you and your mom and dad and Alex have the best of luck and the best of times, but this is sounding like that moment in "All About Eve" when Bette Davis is telling everyone to put on their seatbelts.

Anonymous said...

Awesome.

Mantium said...

Sigh. One of the most important (and hardest) truths I've ever learned is that I'll never get what I want from my parents. Not gonna happen. Nope. Gotta let it go. Move on. Let 'em off the hook. Hold on tight to the happy thought that you'll most likely outlive them. Maybe your brother, too. That'll show 'em.

LilSass said...

I think it's important to note that your parents allowed you to be photographed with a horrifically crooked haircut. I mean, I get that we all had one at some point (as well as the Mary Lou Retton bowlcut), but considering the chop-job on you, this isn't a fair comparison.

For shame on them!

Spots said...

I believe my mother did that to me. Or maybe the bitch at 'Locks and Lollypops' who always cut the back of my ears with her serial killer scissors.
But yeah, that haircut? No wonder I ended up in the hab 25 years later...

Patricia said...

Oh Locks and Lollipop was the WORST place for any child to go get a haircut because we ALL got that same damn haircut.

Your picture is WAY better than mine because my mother paid that goddamn awful extra $10 for them to put...

yes...for them to put a damn big (insert hideous shiny pastel color here )floppy bow on top of my head.

I apologize for the swearing but it was the worst!!!! I burnt every photo I could find with that bloody floppy bow!