Sunday, December 07, 2008

maybe we can go to meetings together...

I have 6 days of rehab left!
Hell yeah, you hedonistic drunks. I'll be returning home next week to point how how you're all killing yourselves with your unhealthy ways. (Hold on, I need to sneak another cigarette.) This means that only 6 days remain for San Francisco Mayor Gavin Christopher Newsom, whose birthday I have never forgotten, to send me some type of alcohol related gift basket.
Gavin, in fact, was given the perfect opportunity to inquire as to my well being when my father interviewed him last Tuesday night, which you can read all about HERE.
The folks came up to visit me today and as we dined on lunch, I got the scoop on the interview and here's how the conversation went:

Oh my god, Daddy! you forgot to tell me about interviewing Gavin!
Oh yeah. You didn't read my article?
Er, uh, well...I'm focusing on my recovery. Back off. Anyway, spill.
It went great.
What did you call him?
Gavin.
Really?!?! Not Mayor?
Hmmm, nope. I called him Gavin. I usually call small town mayors "Mister Mayor."
Did he ask about me?
No.
Not once?
No.
You know he's in recovery.
I know.
So he didn't ask about me and my courageous struggle?
No.
Was he drunk?
No.
Okay, well what did he call you?
I can't remember. I don't think he called me anything.
So he was rude, basically.
No, no, no. It was very professional.
Was he rude at all?
Not at all. I had a list of questions, Beth. It wasn't like we were hanging out.
Okay, okay. But you don't think it's a little rude not to ask how your family is doing?
Actually, we spoke about his father.
Oh, terrific. I'm in rehab, somewhere Gavin claims to have been, and he can't say a little, "I hope that drunk daughter of yours is enjoying the clink."
Apparently not. Just read my column.
Didn't I tell you to back off? What was he wearing?
I have no idea.
I'm sorry. What?
His usual, I guess.
Oh, the blue tie. Figures. What'd you ask him?
(insert political questions about statewide issues.)
Was anyone else there?
A couple of guys and two cops.
This is awesome. Way to go, Dad! I'm just glad you were able to forget all about your only daughter suffering alone and sober, miles and miles away from this momentous occasion.
Me too.
I really think it's bullshit he didn't even give me a shout out.
Ragone asked about you, though.

YES! PWR, I will not forget this gallant gesture. In return for the huge Spotspoints you just earned, I won't call you Bjorn for one calendar year, either privately or publicly.
In other City Hall news that's made it all the way up to rehab, Matthew Goudeau continues his reign as my favorite gay person of power in Room 200 (or thereabouts. I always get lost up there.) Matthew helped nix Yelp Day because Yelp won't let reviewers shit on businesses who supported Prop 8.
Yelp's argument is that you can't review a business if you haven't patronized it. Matthew's argument is basically, Yes you can, motherfuckers, if that business supports hate. I mean, seriously. I'd want to know if my $35 chicken was helping fund bigotry. (I also love Matthew because he's a snappy dresser, has the cutest giggle on Earth and if you google him, my love pops right up.) So way to stick it to the man, Matthew! Or rather, way to stick it to Nish.

6 days! Let the countdown begin...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

Be_Devine said...

Yay!!! Almost done! Think they'll notice if I sneak into the sanctum of your medallion ceremony? I'll say I'm a sex addict.

Gavin came to your Dad's interview with two cops??? Gavin must have heard about Dick's fascination with Cato Calin.

Counting the days . . .

Ghazala Khan said...

Interview Request

Hello Dear and Respected,
I hope you are fine and carrying on the great work you have been doing for the Internet surfers. I am Ghazala Khan from The Pakistani Spectator (TPS), We at TPS throw a candid look on everything happening in and for Pakistan in the world. We are trying to contribute our humble share in the webosphere. Our aim is to foster peace, progress and harmony with passion.

We at TPS are carrying out a new series of interviews with the notable passionate bloggers, writers, and webmasters. In that regard, we would like to interview you, if you don't mind. Please send us your approval for your interview at my email address "ghazala.khi at gmail.com", so that I could send you the Interview questions. We would be extremely grateful.

regards.

Ghazala Khan
The Pakistani Spectator
http://www.pakspectator.com

sfmike said...

I too was asked to be interviewed as a "notable passionate blogger" by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. I'm sure they're a terrorist front masking themselves as internet spammers. Beware, Beth.

And though I mean no disrespect to your dad, your interview with Gavin about sobriety issues and why he's been a fool not to bond mystically and passionately with YOU would have been ten times more interesting. Much love.

Patricia said...

WTF? Ghazal Khan...don't you know you first make an obsence amount money offer before any interview request by bloggers are given...

like my price is only breakfast at Sears, lunch at Town Hall and Dinner at Aqua without you...

Oh and the $150,000 I am promised by the prince in kasistan...

Beth, don't settle for less okay!

Spencer said...

You have a Dad? Nice.

Anonymous said...

Sockpuppet asked about you? Srsly?

Awesome.

'Course if we know anything about Rangone, it's that he reads the blogs.

Ya' heard?