Monday, November 10, 2008

fresh fish, fresh fish...

I'm not wild about the celebrity activist.
(I wrote that sentence, then thought about it. Um, yeah. I am wild about the celebrity activist. Nevermind.)
Paul Newman (who I'd still sleep with, like right now), Martin Sheen, Hanoi Jane, Brenda Walsh, Charelton Heston and of course, Tim Robbins.


Tim's name wasn't on the voting list and considering the fact that the man uses his Oscar speech to pontificate on global issues, he musta been pretty pissed. I had no problem voting but I'd be pissed if I couldn't use my Oscar speech to make a few specific bitches and assholes highly regretful, so I understand where Tim's coming from.
After jumping through some bureaucratic, right-wing hoops obviously put in place to keep this pinko from his Constitutional right, Tim finally got to vote and probably calmed down with some green tea and The New Republic.
But it reminded me of something I forgot to tell you people.
My brother Alex had the greatest Halloween costume ever. In a sea of slutty Palin's and the occasional inappropriate black-face, Alex went to a Halloween party as Andy Dufresne.
He called me ahead of time for some last minute advice and clarification. I feel the best part of his costume was a "length of rope" tied to his ankle on one end and at the other, a plastic bag filled with all of Andy's possessions.
"Well, you've got to have a hand carved chess set in a cigar box."
"Beth, be practical."
"Okay, get a Bible and cut out a space for a rock hammer."
"I thought about that, but it seems like a lot of effort."
I maintained he could pass candy out of defaced Holy Scripture, but Alex just shoved a suit and some of the Warden's shady business papers in there and called it a costume. I really wanted him to walk around shaking dirt out of his pant legs, because anyone with a Shawshank Redemption costume that specific would be my immediate best friend.
"Oh, give people harmonicas!"
"What?"
"Andy gave Red one after his parole was denied. Then you could run out into the rain and rip off your shirt and laugh at God! And carve 'Alex was here' on the wall!"
"Beth, you have some problems."
Not with voting...

3 comments:

Sharon, The Queen Blogger said...

Seriously. Do you have an "old guy" thing or what? The last time I dated an older man, I was 29 and he was 55. He was wearing loafers on our first date and slipped on the sidewalk in front of a North Beach bar with everyone looking. Some bum yelled "Hey, is he your Dad or your date?" and I yelled back "Both!" just to mess with his head. That was our last date. Yuk!

Bug said...

OK, I have to know. What would you say in your Oscar speech to make some "...bitches and assholes highly regretful"?

Anonymous said...

I want to be Beth's new BFF. We're perfect for each other. Because I too would still sleep with Paul Newman RIGHT.NOW.

"Ohh Brick..." sigh.