Thursday, August 21, 2008

may your first child, be a gay child...

The queens have their 2(x)ists in a twist again.
What else is new, right?
But this time it's over tourists, showing up by the bus load in the Castro and giggling at the gays. My favorite quote from this article, other than, "God knows we love tourists," said Patrick Batt, who has owned the Auto Erotica vintage gay porn shop for 28 years. "But these people are a bunch of gawkers" is this statement from Rob Guite, a Castro resident.
"You've got these throngs of people walking up and down Market and 18th, holding hands to make it clear that they are heterosexual."
Um, Robby darling, aside from the fact that you're saying pretty much EXACTLY what straight people used to say about perfectly innocent gay PDA, I've noticed the same thing. I don't think it's necessarily because Randy and Tonya are trying to shove their straightness in your gay face. It's because they're tourists. They do it everywhere. This whole summer, everywhere I go it's a couple holding hands as if one of them will fall over should the bond be broken. Perhaps we're just an unaffectionate city, perhaps constant hand holding is for junior high and we're too cool or perhaps they're afraid of all of us San Franciscans in general.
I'm just saying, get over yourself. It's not all about you.
Speaking of Homotown, the Castro Theater is showing The Godfathers I and II as a double feature! Oh my god, these queers have got my number! This is of course, the week after The Little Mermaid Sing-a-Long. Anyway, I can't stay away from the moody Michael Corleone so I'll be there. And I'm not sitting through seven hours of heaven with just anyone. Because, needless to say, I'm taking this shit seriously and shifting in seats/sipping the dregs of the drink/too much talking isn't going to fly with me. Sure during the boring parts (any time Kay talks or Connie gets emotional) we can make fun of people and chug Chianti from water bottles. But I pity the fool who asks me where the bathroom is during gun behind the toilet scene. So, I'm accepting applications. Mafia affiliation welcome, as is knowledge and reverence of the Family...

8 comments:

Brock said...

Homophobe!

Be_Devine said...

I gotta say that "this particular post leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

Oh wait, that is something else.

Generic said...

Hmm. My girlfriend and I feel as though we're transgressing anytime we hold hands in that nabe. We have a word for it, Castroffensive. So we don't do it. It just feels like teh gayz have carved out this little corner of the world where their culture is the norm, so why can't we at least respect the idea? Is it really such a sacrifice? But your post makes me think I'm wrong. Because it's all a part of the same flawed, divisive logic of ghettoization. You can't keep the tourists (read: the world) out. Or the homos in. People should feel free to be affectionate, whoever or wherever they are. Unless Tonya & Randy are commiting PDA in a nervously defensive "I'm not gay" kind of way?

I'm so confused.

Brock said...

if you don't have semen coming out of at least two orifices, you're being offensive in the castro.

Anonymous said...

Oh, but I love Kay...

Leslie/Miss Havisham said...

This is so silly. Did they really just imply it's rude to be straight and holding hands in the Castro? Looky loos have money and it's not like they are protesting or being blatantly homophobic. These are probably just from bum fuck midwest who aren't used to gay people in their own communities. They are interested in experiencing gay culture which is a step in the right direction than them expressing hate or fear.

And sometimes it's really hard to say "don't gawk" in the castro. A few months ago I was in a convenience store in line to pay and there was a very over the top drag queen in line in front of me who got in my face screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT" I was honest and said, "I'm looking at a 6 foot tall man in the tiniest sparkly tube dress I've ever seen...by the way one of your nuts is hanging out."

That shut him up.

Anonymous said...

Here's another interpretation of breeder handholding in the Castro: The guy is so insecure about being hit on, he makes it abundantly clear to everyone-by virtue of clamping onto his GFs hand-that he is totally 1000% straight dammit.

Be_Devine said...

I'm all for letting tourists take pictures of the people who want their pictures taken. For example, the Sisters, many drag queens, and many others bask in the attention and would love to have their picture taken by a tourist. They are a spectacle (a very good way) and should be photographed. But that's not what's happening here.

The tour buses are dropping people (who are, from what I understand, mostly tour groups from Asia) off at Market and Castro at 4pm on weekdays. Rarely do you see any drag queens (or anything else of photographic value) in the Castro before dark, and certainly not on weekday afternoons. So what they end up snapping their pictures of are people going about their daily lives. And some of those people don't want their private lives on exhibit like they are in a zoo. God forbid some Chinese tourist snaps a picture of my pug stealing some hobo's sandwich.

How is this any different than the markets in Chinatown not wanting tourists to take pictures of people grocery shopping for their live chickens and duck dinner ingredients?

"Out of respect for our closeted celebrity customers, please no pictures of live guinea pig sales."