I can't explain it, but:
I came up with a bunch of options, and um, this is what I settled on. You're Peter Scolari, by the way.
Happy Birthday. No really. I mean it. Happy Birthday, old timer.
Oh my god, you're elderly. Sick!
I kid, I kid.
Okay, here's your blog. I'm overwhelmingly excited for you and proud of you and if you ever walked in a room, I'd give you a solo standing ovation.
Happy Birthday. For realsies, Happy Birthday...