Tuesday, August 12, 2008

blogs and bix...

Some wierdo sent me an e-mail asking me if I read other people's blogs.
Oh, you mean like Melissa and Brock? No. Never.
Duh. Of course I read other people's blogs. What the fuck is wrong with you?
So here's my Top 10 list of daily blogs I visit, omitting my peeps. And yeah, I know. It's a lot of food porn.

The Daily Feed (Gutenberg, I love you.)
Food Gawker (porn.)
DListed (Heaven on Earth.)
Taste Spotting (porn.)
Anna's Cool Finds (slightly nerdy and sweet {barf}, but useful and constant, kinda like a good boyfriend.)
The Pioneer Woman (Barf in general, but I can't help myself. I kinda want to smack Ree and I kinda want to watch You've Got Mail with her. Also, Joe and I have made loads of her shit and it never turns our right? I blame Ree. Yet I can't look away. Also, there are a TON of anti-PW blogs out there. She lives with her husband and four kids on a farm in Oklahoma and takes pictures and cooks food and home-schools. I'm obsessed.)
The Food in my Beard (My future spouse.)
Smitten Kitchen (Yeah. I'm into this shit. You SO want to come over to my house so I can make you THIS.)
Thursday Night Smackdown (Awesome food and even more awesome, she just went nuts.)
Holy Taco (Not really a blog I guess. But it keeps me in touch with what straight boys are thinking. By the way, straight boys are thinking about boobs and shit jokes.)

So there you go. Other people's blogs. And uh, there went your day. I haven't even dipped into my serial killer sites yet. Steel your nerves, folks. I have much to share.

Finally, just so we can all wait in breathless anticipation, Grey Cloud texted me yesterday. Months ago, I'd requested one "Beth and Chris night" in which we'd whoop it up like the good ole' days. And by good ole' days, I mean screaming at each other on the sidewalk in front of the Bubble Lounge. I've been alotted this Friday night and in my delight, I texted back, "Oh, a Friday even! What to wear!?! I'll make reservations."
My phone glowed with his grateful response. "I'm not doing dinner."
Oh. Silly me. I'm no Rielle Hunter, but I was willing to forgo by cable bill to buy the douche dinner at Bix. I never get to see him. He likes sorbet. I like stiff drinks. This was my perfect excuse to re-hit Bix!
Mais non.
I don't want to fight via text. So I called his over-dressed ass.
Grey Cloud answers his phone as if you've just interrupted him in the middle of a huge business deal, and he's doing you a huge favor by taking your call. Nope. he's watching golf.
"Hey, Sugarplum. So Friday..."
"You don't want to go to dinner?"
"I'm not doing dinner."
"Okay. what do you want to do?"
"You're supposed to know the cool bars, right?"
"Okay, but I thought maybe we could..."
Oh, I'm bringing my flip video for this shit. Because I'm saving my voice and notifying Bubble Lounge security...


Holy Taco said...

I would guess we probably think about shit jokes more than boobs. Which is sort of disappointing now that I think about it. Either way, thank you for your support.

Anonymous said...

Grey Cloud is a complete asshole. Wouldn't you rather spend your Friday night pulling out your own figernails and dipping your hands in alcohol than wasting your time with someone who treats you like this?

Spots said...

Holy Shit Holy Taco! Awesome.

And @12:51, nope. Not really. I see your point and once upon a time agreed, but the second you start to see the humor in a 25 year old unemployed human barstool in an Armani suit, hair gel and a frown, you'll get the point of GC. He's a fucking pain in my ass, he's made me (and most likely several co-eds, divorcees and strippers) cry rivers and is annoyed if you offer to refill his cocktail, much less retrieve his dry cleaning or pick him up from the airport.
But there's the occasional moment, like the sighting of a rare animal, that makes GC all worth it. And although he would violently vomit on his computer should he read my blog and/or remember, neither of which he will, GC said the sweetest sentence I've ever heard.

Beth: There're plenty of fish in the sea, Chris.
GC: Yeah, but there's only one you. You're the nautical equivilent of a unicorn.

I mean, folks. Beat that shit. Oh wait. You can't...

Anonymous said...

GC sounds like a total douche/tool.
I have such a huge hard on now.
Beth, get on that!!
SO Jealous!

sergei said...

the nautical equivalent of a unicorn is a narwhal, which is a type of white whale.

Becky said...

I want to marry PW.

Anonymous said...

I bet GC pees sitting down.

Eirikur said...

I have naughty dreams starring PW's husband. It ain't right.

Brock said...

serial killer sites are perfect bedtime reading.

Plug1 said...

have we met yet?

hi, my name is Plug1 -- nice to finally meet you.

Anonymous said...

What I really love about PW is the way she takes pictures OF EVERY SINGLE STEP in the process of say, making chicken salad. Here is the chicken leg, here is cut 1, here is cut 2, here is the grape, here is the grape sliced in half...

Cracks me up.

Leslie/Miss Havisham said...

Holy crap please post the serial killer sites. Such a tease!

Anonymous said...

PW's cooking is crap. Period.

You want to cook food that won't make you take B.P meds. or have bypass than go to other places that cook.

I love C.L btw...aweseome snarky site