Thursday, July 24, 2008

i got bitch-slapped...

I have never seen Melissa Griffin leap so high.
Well into the evening, Mel, Hastings and I were at Le Club. Crazy drunk wandered in and sat next to me. Friends that they are, Mel and Hastings made themselves scarce, thinking I might be chatting with the future ex-Mr. Spotswood.
Nope. "James" was so drunk, he could barely speak. But I was so comfy in my chair, with my Gibson and my peanuts. I'll talk to a drunk. It's Wednesday. That sounds about right.
Finally, I got bored with his slurring. "Oh sweetheart." I said, with mild sincerity."You've had too much."
I looked across the bar at Melissa. "Mist, it's time to go."
As I said this, a hand smacked my face. James fuckin' hit me. I'm sure he had no idea what day it was, much less an awareness that he just hit a chick but that shit kinda hurt. And Melissa, who might as well sit at Le Club wearing a t-shirt saying "Bring it" FLEW off her chair and into action. Uh oh.
Why do we always get in fights?
And this, folks, because I know you couldn't care less, is Colin...

11 comments:

vansmack said...

You probably weren't listening.

Brock said...

who did this to you?

Greg said...

Ok Beth, I'm at Nerd Prom, with 150,000 nerds and I was reading this while on the trolley back to my hotel and said "WHAT THE FUCK?" so loudly, the only way I could cover my embarassment was to say something about the casting of the next Red Sonja film.

Seriously, can we form a posse and kick El Drunko a new one?

brittney said...

Please tell me this James fucker limped home.

Sweet Melissa said...

His name is James Turner. And I've never been so pissed off.
I was like "Code 99!"

Seana said...

I am so absolutely glad you had Mel there to back you up because shit like that can't be tolerated. But, um, what does Colin have to do with all this?

Spots said...

Colin has nothing to do with this, other than he's who kicks people out, one of my favorite people I see pre-dawn and is always appallingly tolerant of me and the Missus...

vansmack said...

Code 99! Oh no you din't!!!

Awesome.

Nikki said...

What?!! I hope that moron got tossed out the door by the upturned collar of his cheesy polo shirt!

Anonymous said...

Wait a sec. Is this asshole the same Turner from the "All you need to know is, I'm a Turner" encounter?

Sweet Melissa said...

Anonymous - You are correct.