Sunday, June 08, 2008

oh, we're in a fight...

I just awoke from a dream in which I got in a huge, public fight with Gavin at a Press Conference and I am, like, shaking right now.
Picture it: We're in some shitty conference room and it's like a bunch of tables shaped into a U. And I'm kinda on the end of the U and Gavin's kinda in the middle, but he's there with other equally, if not more important people. And the rest of us are asking questions and it's my turn and sadly, I have no idea what my question was, but it was directed at Gavin and he went off.
Basically, he called me a diletante and a liar and said I was full of shit, citing examples that didn't make any sense.
But he was mad.
Really mad.
SO mad that when I responded, he folded his arms, turned in his chair, crossed his legs and looked away. You know that look he does when he's really pissed and refuses to make eye-contact with his enemy? Yeah. That.
And the guy sitting next to him goes, "Dude, be a gentleman."
I love that in my subconscious, Gavin's staff calls him dude.
Which is when I had a Julia Sugarbaker moment and stood up saying, "Yeah! Willie Brown doesn't pull this shit. I don't know where this cocky, entitled, juvenile attitude comes from, but it's clearly masking what I can only assume is a lack of faith of yourself. And getting into a public fight with some blogger is like, sign #3 of your imminent self destruction."
And then i think I was escorted out.
But I woke up a little teary and shaking and really, really riled up. Oh! And in the middle of my tirade, Gavin accused me of saying something and I had to call Mel to prove I never said it, and I was all, "I'm in a huge screaming match with Gavin right now. I'll call you back." Then I slammed down my phone and screamed, "All I ever said was that I liked your outfits!"

PS: Happy Birthday Kanye! The fact that I adore you with such conviction pretty much signals the beginning of your end. Enjoy it, baby...


L'Italiana said...

Face it, it's your unconscious fighting the fact that you're about to lose him to Jen...Just know that it's a temporary gig. He'll be back...

Becky said...

I love that Zoe's birthday blog was a day late...But Kanye's shout out - you are all over that shit! Hahaha!!

GavinWatch said...

I can totally identify with having dreams about Gavin being sketchy and inappropriate and passive-aggressive, and waking up feeling disturbed. I blame Gavin's hair. The poor guy knows just as well as we do what a colossal failure it is, but he's stuck with it. I think his resentment and powerlessness about his hair cause him to put out these bad vibes that sink into our subconsciouses. Or maybe that's just the scotch.